Presented by Nori Muster at the 40th IASD Annual Dream Conference, Ashland, Oregon 2023 Appendix I The Nightmares This appendix contains all the nightmares in chronological order. Also included are related dreams from the same night, related daytime notations, and dreamsketch records. Search the Nightmares using keywords Twenties & Thirties Nightmares 20 nightmares from 20s & 30s decades Forties Nightmares 5 nightmares from 40s decade Fifties Nightmares 32 nightmares from 50s decade Sixties Nightmares 12 nightmares (so far) from 60s decade Search the Nightmares Using Keywords I have provided several lines of code for each nightmare: Theme Gist Resolution (yes or no) Daytime continuity (if indicated) Related notations (notations, dreams, and dreamsketch records) Other notes (if indicated) You can search this page for keywords and word strings. Here are a few I use (include colons, asterisks, other punctuation to refine search). I ordinarily use a plain text app to analyze the dreams, but searching this webpage can also work. Suggested keywords and word strings to search: Theme: Gist: Resolution: yes Resolution: no Resolution: partial lucid resolution lucid no resolution Daytime continuity: Other notes: Related notations: Notation * Dated Dream * Dated Nightmare * Dated Dreamsketch * Dated To search characters use curly bracket as keyword: { Specific characters:       husband - {h}       father - {f}       brother - {b}       mother - {m} and so on . . . Twenties and Thirties Nightmares 20 nightmares (and one related dream) 1983-1995 Nightmare * Dated November undated 1983 Theme: attack, harm Gist: I talk to a taxi driver and "become mutilated" Resolution: no - wake up screaming " 'Be healed' (People of the world)" Daytime continuity: I lived in the ISKCON temple, and believed their dogma that everyone in the world except ISKCON members were bad people. Nightmare * Dated November undated 1985 - {nightmare} {characters - people of the world [people I prayed for], a lady [who gave us change], taxi driver, these people [people I yell at], some English guys [musicians]} Last night woke up because of nightmare - screaming "Be healed" (People of the world) a lady gave us change - talk to taxi driver and became mutilated. Then I yelled at these people. / Also some English guys came to visit for their concert Nightmare * Dated July 8, 1986 Theme: surreal; harm to others Gist: humans who act like animals begin to turn into animals. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: May correspond to ISKCON dogma that people outside of ISKCON were doomed to take lower births as animals. Nightmare * Dated July 8, 1986 - first dream {nightmare} {H} {characters - humans who are turning into animals} Last night there was an earthquake. I was having nightmares about humans who acted like animals. Even in this body they began changing into animals. Their limbs would atrophy and become useless, they would resemble snakes or trees - for their next life. Nightmare * Dated August 22, 1986 Theme: surreal Gist: can't answer the phone, can't breathe "the phones are different." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare Other notes: environment influence - "I wake up - the phone was really ringing." Other notes: phone problem Nightmare * Dated August 22, 1986 - {nightmare} {characters - person who calls me [implied]} {daytime note} nightmare - On the phone. The line rings, but I can't answer it. I try and try, but the phones are different. Can't breathe - can't answer phone. I wake up - the phone was really ringing. Notation * Dated August 22, 1986 [abridged] {h} * Got upset [about nightmare] . . . . Nightmare * Dated August 27, 1986 Theme: threat Gist: walking on the beach with my mother, "News broadcast tells of three gory murders." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: possible my subconscious knew my mother was upset over ISKCON murder in Los Angeles May 22, 1986. Nightmare * Dated August 27, 1986 - {nightmare} {M} {characters - my mother, news broadcaster [implied], murder victims [implied], my friends} Terrible nightmares - walking on beach looking for a place to live. My mother also on beach - we go for a walk together. News broadcast tells of three gory murders. She is scared, sad, etc. My friends want me to go in the water - I don't want to. Nightmare * Dated March 14, 1987 Theme: surreal Gist: I'm "watching a movie and taking notes. The star begins to act like the exorcist." Resolution: no "the movie bothered us both." Daytime continuity: unknown Nightmare * Dated March 14, 1987 - third dream {nightmare} {characters - a woman [I write about], the star [of a movie], the exorcist [the woman in the movie], my boyfriend} {daytime note} Later typing an outline - one long part about women (a woman) I thought should be on appendix. Then watching a movie and taking notes. The star begins to act like the exorcist. I tell my boyfriend I was like that once - he acts cool. The movie bothered both of us to see. Woke up - a nightmare. Nightmare * Dated April 13, 1987 Theme: threat Gist: There's a killer was on the loose." We need to walk to the temple in the dark. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: may be about murderers in ISKCON. Nightmare * Dated April 13, 1987 - first dream {nightmare} {H} {k-iskconpeople} {characters - Dave, NK [an ISKCON devotee], Karandhar [an ISKCON devotee], Jagaddhatri [an ISKCON devotee], Saturn and Jupiter [anthropomorphized], a killer, people [downstairs], one of them [one of the people downstairs]} {daytime note} Nightmares - Ud & I slept outside in a parking lot - he couldn't sleep. We folded up our blankets and got up. Saw NK buy coke & pot from our neighbor and Karandhar. I heard them say how they'd cover up the transaction. I got some and put it in a box to check it later. They didn't care that I knew. Jagaddhatri came over and gave me some Tulasi leaf. Ud said the two planets Saturn and Jupiter were together and a killer was on the loose. I looked down the stairs and there were people. I asked one of them to walk me to mangal arotik. Very scary. Nightmare * Dated November 8, 1987 Theme: kidnap, attack, harm to me and others Gist: Men capture and torture us. Men invade my house. Resolution: yes - lucid / fell back asleep with the intention to resolve the nightmare in subsequent dream, November 8, 1987 - second dream / and during nightmare / escaped - "Finally I got my hands loose and ran out screaming. I ran to a neighbor's and a girl let me in. We locked all the doors and called the police." Daytime continuity: unknown Related notations: subsequent dream, November 8, 1987 - second dream, resolution Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare (November 8, 1987) Other notes: lucid resolution - fall back to sleep to run through the escape again. Other notes: further resolution in subsequent dream (November 8, 1987 - second dream) Other notes: police Nightmare * Dated November 8, 1987 - first dream {nightmare} {characters - some men [kidnappers], other friends [also captured], a neighbor, a girl, the police, one of the Grateful Dead [policeman looked like]} Captured by some men and tied up. I was being tortured in their house. They also captured some other friends and were torturing them. It was slow death as they tightened the screws. Finally I got my hands loose and ran out screaming. I ran to a neighbor's and a girl let me in. We locked all the doors and called the police. It was a city called San Bernardino (?) The police came and my friends escaped too. The policeman looked like one of the Grateful Dead and I started telling him my story - Dream * Dated November 8, 1987 - second dream {K-Krishna} {characters - him [the kidnapper], them [neighbors], the police, Krishna} Wake up - Run through the escape again. This time we couldn't lock him out, so I went out the back way to the next house on the block and got them to let me in. I called the police from there. Something taking me away from Krishna. I said to police, "For the last three days, I've been trying to escape from kidnappers. I want the police to help me." Notation * Dated November 8, 1987 [abridged] * Weird day - bad nightmares, felt very tired. . . . Nightmare * Dated February 16, 1988 - second dream Theme: threat Gist: Men invade my house. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: our landlord banged on the door and woke us up about 12:30 because someone broke into our car and stole the tape player (not sure if it was before or after this dream). Nightmare * Dated February 16, 1988 - second dream - {nightmare} {characters - some men [threatening], he [one of the threatening men]} {daytime note} Earlier - a nightmare - some men walk in our apt., front door open. I say "who are you? Who are you?" But they won't answer. Finally they introduce themselves. I try to get them to leave. I grab a plastic syringe out of one's hands and say "It doesn't matter!" He follows suit and we start clowning around saying it doesn't matter. I start screaming - wake up. Nightmare * Dated March 27, 1988 - first dream Theme: surreal Gist: "Being between awake and asleep - I would see things that couldn't be real" Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: lucid no resolution - I ask Dave to wake me up and he does. Nightmare * Dated March 27, 1988 - first dream - {nightmare} {H} {characters - people [among things I see], Dave} {daytime note} Nightmares - Being between awake and asleep - I would see things that couldn't be real - TVs, people, music, etc., while trying to fall asleep finally I started asking Uddhava to wake me up and he did. Nightmare * Dated May 16, 1988 - first dream Theme: kidnap, attack, harm against me; I attack others Gist: Some devotees at the temple kidnap us, we fight back. Resolution: yes - I violently beat Mahendra, escape, and run away. Daytime continuity: I located two daytime notations that discuss daytime concerns related to the nightmare (see related notes below) Related notes: March 9, 1988 daytime notation; May 16, 1988 daytime notation Other notes: I harm others Notation * Dated March 9, 1988 [abridged] * Worked on misc. . . . Heard Svavasa was going to have a talk with Mahendra and give him a chance to "duck" out now. [Mahendra's secretary Satadhari accused him of embezzling, which was true.] . . . Nightmare * Dated May 16, 1988 - first dream - {nightmare} {H} {k-iskconpeople} {characters - Dave, Mahendra [an ISKCON devotee], Donavir [an ISKCON devotee]} (Nightmare) I was made to stay within a big cage. With me were my husband (also a prisoner) and Mahendra. Mahendra (and sometimes Donavir) were the guards. I would always try to escape and Mahendra would stop me. After a while I become violent and began beating Mahendra. Finally one time I beat him severely, screaming wildly until he fell. Then I ran for the door and slipped out to freedom and began to run away. The alarm went off. Notation * Dated May 16, 1988 [abridged] * Nightmares . . . Feel sad because some people have been criticizing the IWR. Naikatma, a guy from S. Africa, and other people, are saying it's "too internal." I don't know what to think we may write an editorial about it. I think my nightmares this morning have something to do with all this. The lower forces of ISKCON trying to imprison me. Why can't we take an honest look at our faults and problems along with our successes? Nightmare * Dated March undated 1989 Theme: harm to others Gist: My husband jumps in the river and is later found dead. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: I had this nightmare just before leaving for India, so it could reflect stress/fears of travel. Nightmare * Dated March undated 1989 {nightmare} {h} {characters - we [Dave and I], spiritual communities [that didn't exist], rescue team, a body, one of the men, someone inside the train [tells me Dave is dead], his parents [Dave's parents]} {daytime notes} Nightmare / A long dream. First we were moving, looking for a place to live. We felt discouraged that there were no spiritual communities to be found - We landed our house on a lot in the middle of nowhere and I was trying to convince Uddhava it was okay - He didn't like it. Then we were in India, sitting next to a river - All of a sudden Uddhava jumped into the river with all his clothes on, including his coat and started swimming under water - I tried to stop him. He didn't come up and it was dark. I ran down the river and got on a train. I saw a rescue team below in the water and they had a body - I lowered the window and asked one of the men if they had found my husband. Then someone inside the train said, "He's dead." I knew they were right, even though I had tried so hard not to believe it. I was thinking how I would live now, how I had to return to America and tell his parents. Suddenly I woke up. It seems horrible! I don't know why I would have such a dream. He was depressed and jumped in the river to drown. Also, fearfulness at being in a strange place alone. Nightmare * Dated January 17, 1990 - second dream Theme: kidnap, threat, to me and others Gist: I am kidnapped by some men who have dead bodies in their van. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: police Nightmare * Dated January 17, 1990 - second dream {nightmare} {characters - these men [kidnappers], dead bodies, a neighbor woman, the police} Nightmares - I am trapped in a house - these men make us go in their van and dispose of some dead bodies, then they trap us in their house. I tell a neighbor woman to call the police - Nightmare * Dated March 7, 1990 - first dream 4:00 Am Theme: surreal, attack, threat Gist: I get in a fist fight with my brother. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: dream record notes: "Last night was the radio interview." Other notes: lucid no resolution - I realize I must be dreaming Nightmare * Dated March 7, 1990 - first dream 4:00 Am - {nightmare} {h} {B} {M} {characters - my brother, Dave, information [operator], my mother} {daytime notes} A weird nightmare. I am awakened by my brother and I think he is some kind of crazy person - I get in a big fight with him and he jumps on me to calm me down. I end up with a big welt on my wrist. I imagine a darker world where everything is wrong. The dark world manufactures antiques. Uds decides to call information and find out if the antique dealers are real. I later awaken and hear my mother trying to buy a used turntable, but it's sold. I go out to show her my bruise and complain about Bill. She says she heard me attack him and asks me what I was dreaming - I realize it was a dream (Last night was the radio interview.) Nightmare * Dated March 31, 1990 - second dream 6 am Theme: harm to others Gist: My husband doesn't come home, and these men tell me he's dead. Resolution: yes - become lucid and "I tell the man I don't believe him because I know I am dreaming." Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: lucid resolution - I realize I'm dreaming, and make some phone calls "since I know it's just a dream." Nightmare * Dated March 31, 1990 - second dream 6 am - {nightmare} {h} {K-Kyle} {F} {characters - Dave, other men [in the house], the man [one of the men], my father, Kyle} A nightmare: I go out with Uds. When I get home I go to sleep. He doesn't come home, but there are other men around the house. I ask them where Uds is - the man says, "He's dead." I panic at first, but then I think I must be dreaming. I do a few things like climb up the wall and realize I am dreaming. I tell the man I don't believe him because I know I am dreaming. I try to make some phone calls - to my father, to Kyle - since I know it's just a dream. Nightmare * Dated September 8, 1990 - fifth dream 6:30 Theme: kidnap, attack, harm Gist: evil "tendrils" attack me and a boy tries to kidnap me Resolution: no, I fight back against the tendrils, yell at people, scream for help, but nobody helps me. Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: may have been talking in my sleep, distressed, husband woke me up. Other notes: phone problem Other notes: people don't help Nightmare * Dated September 8, 1990 - fifth dream 6:30 {nightmare} {h} {k-Krishna} {characters - a little boy [one of the kidnappers], two people [of all the people in the restaurant, two believe me], a woman with a devilish tongue [one of the kidnappers], the devil, Krishna, Dave} {daytime notes} Nightmare - I'm in a movie - a horror movie like "Tendrils" or something - A little boy - who is evil - makes the tendrils come after me and try to get me - I fight them off - I twist the tendrils, like a Ju-Jitsu hold and get away - Then the boy comes after me again. This time in a restaurant, with a pretext that I'm supposed to go with him. He writes a phone number on a gas station receipt - I start screaming that I'm being kidnapped and two people believe me. I ask them to call one of the numbers on the gas receipts - they try to pick one out but the numbers keep changing - I look at my abductor and it is a woman with a devilish tongue (the tongue is forced to one side) I say, "You're the devil! You can't take me! Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna!" Then my husband woke me up and I told him about the dream. Nightmare * Dated June 29,1991 - first dream 3:33 Theme: attack, harm, threat to others Gist: Hillcrest boys break a valuable artifact at the Seidenbaum house. Resolution: partial - "I figure I can explain it to Art." Daytime continuity: at the time of the dream I was concluding my work at Hillcrest. Nightmare * Dated June 29, 1991 - first dream 3:33 - {nightmare} {k-Kyle} {K-Seidenbaums} {K-Mukunda} {Hillcrest} {characters - Mukunda, HK men, Seidenbaums, one man [one of the ISKCON people], parakeets, Kyle, Art and Judy, a guy [someone else in the house], all the boys from Hillcrest, Ben M. [one of the Hillcrest boys]} {daytime notes} Hard to fall asleep, then a fantasy nightmare - Mukunda and a bunch of HK men come over to the Seidenbaums' house - When MG sees me, he doesn't know whether to hug or bow down. He kind of does both, I decide to bow down, I embrace his head and pat it. He knows I want to talk to him - That night - I walk around, looking at each man in his sleeping bag - One man is awake, reading, and has the parakeets. He says he woke up early to study. MG is awake on Kyle's bed. I see a light (flashlight) under the covers. I tell him I want to talk now - He follows me to Art & Judy's room. There's a guy in there, he asks him to leave - Then I find a den with a sunken table, I want to sit in there anyway. Just then, there's a commotion. All the boys from Hillcrest take Art's pottery collection. Ben M. breaks one piece - I lose my temper. I say, "I got in trouble for not being mad at you last night, so now I'm going to be mad." He gets defiant and tries to get another piece of Art's pottery - The rest of the men do good work on Art's property, cleaning debris, building bridges like a Japanese garden. I figure I can explain it to Art. I go back to look for Mukunda, to have our talk. I'm afraid he'll be gone, can't have our talk. I wake up, realize it was a "fantasy" dream. MG has taken Kyle's place in the bed. My childish feelings (Hillcrest boys) get the better of the situation. I feel let down, also frustrated that I have a fantasy dream about MG - Nightmare * Dated July 11, 1991 - first dream 5:59 Theme: attack, harm to others, my fault Gist: Animals mistreated, I put my parakeets in a cage with doves and the doves kill my yellow parakeet Resolution: no "woke up feeling horrible" Daytime continuity: grief for leaving my students at Hillcrest. Other notes: harm was my fault Nightmare * Dated July 11, 1991 - first dream 5:59 - {nightmare} {Hillcrest} {characters - my birds, tulasi plants, Todd Place [one of the Hillcrest boys], doves} {daytime notes} I'm getting ready to Leave - I am packing my birds, tulasi plants, etc., to bring down the elevator and put in my car - Also, I'm supposed to go to Hillcrest and see Todd Place - I'm running late - My animals get mistreated - the birds get too wet, get their wings too short, try to run away, their cage isn't right, there's 5 of them instead of two, I put them in a cage with some doves - the doves kill my yellow bird - woke up feeling horrible - it's killed - a nightmare - Nightmare * Dated August 12, 1992 - first dream Theme: harm to others Gist: Dave gets his leg cut off. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: In the dream records I noted a "news story last night about the boy who got this arm cut off" Nightmare * Dated August 12, 1992 - first dream {nightmare} {h} {characters - Dave, news story [implies reporter], an accountant} Nightmare / Dave gets his leg cut off. Others tell him they're so sorry. I wish we could have saved the leg - like in the news story last night about the boy who got his arm cut off - an accountant next door, who pays the bills, says things pile up on her, and then she "womanizes" it onto her subordinate, who can't do it all. Nightmare * Dated February 23, 1995 Theme: surreal Gist: a creature from one of my Noriland paintings becomes a cognizant being and "seems to be plotting my demise." Resolution: yes - became lucid and woke up / partially resolved within the nightmare: "The evil possessive spirit has been exorcised. Sent into orbit." Fell asleep with lucid intention to resolve the nightmare some more. In the next dream I see the ISKCON child who died by suicide, and "an angel of God who was talking directly to us." The boy's mother is "crying over his dead body. It's going to be okay now. he's free, he's safe, he's smiling & showing off for his friends. Surrounded in white light." Daytime continuity: the dream is about a painting I was working on about a friend who died by suicide. Other notes: lucid resolution - I realize I must be dreaming and wake myself up, then fall asleep praying for the creature. Other notes: environmental influence - when I woke up, I put on a CD to calm myself down. The CD influenced the second part of the dream. Nightmare * Dated February 23, 1995 - 1:10 AM {k-Kyle} {K-Shapiros} {ISKCON people} {nightmare} {characters - Noriland creature, my bed partner [imagined], no one [heard me scream], Prabhupada [audio influence], attacking entity [the Noriland creature in the painting], Kyle, Kyle of the Mongolians [what I think Kyle probably calls the attacking Noriland creature], the evil possessive spirit [is exorcised from the Noriland creature], woman on the tape [audio influence], an angel of God [the woman on the tape], he [Jivananda, they subject of the painting in the dream, the purified Noriland creature], Jivananda & his mother} Woke up frightened from a thing that was trying to get me in a dream. It was like one of the creatures from my paintings, a dream fantasy creature. Suddenly the fantasy creature has a mind of its own and seems to be plotting my demise - I call it what it is and it tries to suck me into it. I kick, struggle, scream. (I wake myself up from the dream, trying to make noise and awaken my bed partner - When I realize I'm here alone, I become afraid because I'm fighting it all alone. No one would have heard me scream! I wake up and put on a CD of Prabhupada chanting and I pray the attacking entity is purified & neutralized by the sound vibrations. The creature joined me just as I was drifting off - Possibly it's that caveman-like creature that Kyle could call Kyle of the Mongolians - whatever the hell that means. "A Dream Character suddenly has a soul" It is a real person now. The evil possessive spirit has been exorcised. Sent into orbit. It seemed benign as I fell asleep listening to the angel tape. The woman on the tape sounded like an angel of God who was talking directly to us. When he goes to the suicide rock now, he looks in the water and sees me. Me and Jivananda & his mother crying over his dead body. It's going to be okay now. he's free, he's safe, he's smiling & showing off for his friends. Surrounded in white light. Nightmare * Dated September undated 1995 Theme: attack, harm Gist: someone stole my car. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: Around that time I loaned the brown Honda station wagon to a friend who damaged it in an accident in the desert, then I sold it. Other notes: police Nightmare * Dated September undated 1995 {k-Kyle} {nightmare} {characters - my friends, the police, professional thieves, they [the people who stole my car], Kyle} A very bad nightmare that my brown car gets ripped off from my driveway. I get ultra angry and freaked out. I get mad at all my friends for not watching it & kick them all out - I try to dial the police - Not even a key is missing - it must have been professional thieves - It makes me mad because my altar was set up in the back and I just took a picture of it - I think they will jostle it all around. I tried to take a picture of Kyle, then my car got ripped off. Forties Nightmares 5 nightmares 1996-2003 Nightmare * Dated December undated 1996 Theme: surreal; attack, harm Gist: nothing is working, people steal from me, harass me, and try to abuse me; all my groceries and ID get stolen at the grocery store. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare. Nightmare * Dated December undated 1996 {h} {F} {nightmare} {characters - people; Dave, a beggar woman, Badri Narayan, the guy in the store, Bhagavati, father} {daytime notation} I'm in a foreign country on a trip - There are devotees there, but I am not with them. I'm staying with Dave at a place with a big hallway. Dave & I aren't getting along. Nothing in the house works right - lamps, etc. Dave gets mad & declares he will no longer smoke pot - I still want to smoke it. / I go out for groceries & find a market with good food - I load up my cart, pay for it & go to my car. When I'm leaving, I stop to turn my car around - A beggar woman distracts me & then I see Badri Narayan. He asks me to push his cart back to the store. I see he is smoking a joint - he claims it's tobacco. I turn around & my groceries are stolen! The beggar woman pinches my ass. I think she has taken them. I get back in my car & park, go back to the store. This time I can't find any food. I see some marijuana buds & the guy in the store says they are free - he says, "We got[?] our friends to move here & open this store." I tell him how my groceries were stolen. I also see Bhagavati & tell her how my groceries were stolen. / The groceries were my purse & all my ID is gone, also, my little DQ box. I go back to my car. I try to go back to the store, but it's 2 a.m. & the store is closing. / I don't want to go back to the hotel because I'm angry at Dave, hungry & feel hopeless. No money, no food, no purse no DQ box, no ID, and I miss my father. I think I'll have to call home & have them send me some money and my passport - / Thank god it was only a dream - but what parts are true? Does it represent what I'm going through in some ways? / - roommates (friction) are moving out / - Betrayal is causing friction Notation * Dated December undated same morning 1996 * After 2 more hours of sleep & more dreams, I feel the nightmare was warning me - it's not safe to be around devotees right now - Avoid them, don't stop the car - don't think I have to get out - don't think I have to argue (push Badri's cart back to the market). Sometimes that corner is safe, but it is not safe right now. Nightmare * Dated January 17, 1998 Theme: kidnap, attack, harm to others Gist: "They bring in my friend Bhutatma - to torture him. He's frightened & bound up with bandages, like a mummy. They stick pins in him - like acupuncture, but it's very painful." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: "Then (like the doc about WWI last night) there's a lot of abuse going on" . . . "A weird nightmare, reminds me of the PBS show about WWI." Nightmare * Dated January 17, 1998 {k-Bhutatma} {nightmare} {characters - They [the abusers], Bhutatma} {daytime note} I'm in a furniture store - an antique store like the one on Rowena Ave. I look at each piece of furniture. Then (like the doc about WWI last night) there's a lot of abuse going on. They bring in my friend Bhutatma - to torture him. He's frightened & bound up with bandages, like a mummy. They stick pins in him - like acupuncture, but it's very painful. A weird nightmare, reminds me of the PBS show about WWI. Nightmare * Dated August 29, 1999 Theme: threat to others Gist: I'm walking with Kyle and one or two other men. The man from ISKCON is angry and "wants to push Kyle off the cliff." Resolution: yes - "I say, 'Come on now, I'll be your friend. Let's walk along now.' " Daytime continuity: around this time I suspected Kyle slept with two other women. Nightmare * Dated August 29, 1999 {f} {K-Kyle} {K-JoeyZ} {nightmare} {characters - two men, one is Kyle; Joey(?)} {daytime notes} Walking on a path with 2 men Kyle & ?. A 3rd man, Joey? pulls me by a house - hides, when he comes out he's angry, like a stalker, wants to push Kyle off the cliff. I say, "Come on now, I'll be your friend. Let's walk along now." A nightmare! Later, better dreams. I talk to my dad. I tell God I want to talk to Kyle again. Nightmare * Dated December 7, 1999 - third dream Theme: harm to others, my fault Gist: all the fish in a koi pond die, and it's my fault because I sat in it and broke the drain. Resolution: no - we try to fix it and fill it up, but "but all the fish go down the drain and die." Daytime continuity: May relate to something going on in my family. Other notes: harm was my fault Nightmare * Dated December 7, 1999 - third dream {m} {R-DonH} {aquarium} {nightmare} {characters - Mindi, koi fish, mother, Don Hassler, they [the people who blame Mindi - could refer to our parents, ambiguous] A nightmare - I go to my house in Phoenix - Mindi has built a koi pond & stocked it with about 100 fish - Mom & Don plan to add a 2nd story to the house. I think both projects are too expensive and frivolous - I sit in the pond - it's warm and the fish are friendly to me - I somehow break the drain and the water gets out - we fill it again & I send someone for "Cycle" to condition the water - we pour it in & fill the tank again, but all the fish go down the drain and die - It's horrible and Mindi is so upset - For some reason they blame her even though it's totally my fault - Nightmare * Dated January 24, 2003 Theme: attack, harm Gist: I give class at the temple, but make a lot of mistakes "Everyone makes fun of me." Resolution: partial - I stay after class to chant my rounds and "I wonder why I keep coming back-" Daytime continuity: unknown (I stopped visiting Hare Krishna temples in 1998.) Nightmare * Dated January 24, 2003 {krishna-word} {nightmare} {characters - they [the people who let me give class], everyone [the people who walk out], everyone [the people who make fun of me] one man [who is mean to me]} Another nightmare - In this one I go to the HK temple and they agree to let me give class. I can't find the verse, then I start reading the wrong one, then I can't pronounce the verse, then I can't understand it and start talking anyway - Everyone walks out & I'm totally humiliated. Everyone makes fun of me. I talk to one man who just said "tough luck" and has to go. I feel so humiliated, but I stay to finish my rounds - I wonder why I keep coming back - Fifties Nightmares 32 nightmares (and four related dreams) 2006-2015 Nightmare * Dated February 3, 2006 Theme: attack, harm to others, my fault Gist: A bird is trapped in my house. I set it free, but "a big seagull or another big bird attacks & eats it." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: harm was my fault Nightmare * Dated February 3, 2006 {k-Kyle} {nightmare} {k-shaprios} {characters - a bird, we [person/people I live with], a big bird like a seagull, Kyle, my friend, Mohana, my blue parakeet} {daytime notes} A nightmare - A bird is trapped inside our house - We want it to fly away and be free. I see it inside one time & let it go out - It flies outside & into the sky - I go outside to see it fly away, but a big seagull or another big bird attacks & eats it - I want to tell Kyle since it was our bird - I see him but can't stand to tell him. (An icky dream.) Also in the dream, I go to the pyramid House - my friend doesn't like it because it's lined with wood. I talk to Moahana & she just had an accident. I go to see Kyle where he works - he falls out of his desk & on the floor - I make a joke & leave. It's hard to find him after that - I don't see him again until after the bird dies. Also with my birds - I keep moving the cage from my desk to closet - I catch my blue parakeet and put him in the room (not in the cage) and the lights are out so he panics & can't find the cage in the dark - Nightmare * Dated September 30, 2006 Theme: harm to others Gist: a child dies and "crumples up in a heap" Resolution: no Related notations: descriptions of two dream sketches. Daytime continuity: In the dream I note how the dream reminds me of "Desperate Housewives," which I had watched before going to bed. Nightmare * Dated September 30, 2006 {k-Kyle} {nightmare} {characters - some friends, one of the kids [dies], people- his survivors [people I tell], actors [reenact the death for photo], Kyle, my mechanic} {daytime notes} A kind of nightmare (maybe from watching Desperate Housewives last night) - I go with some friends to a big house - One of the kids with us dies and crumples up in a heap. I run around telling people - his survivors - and calling off 100 bags of lettuce he ordered - I go all over, then come back to take pictures of the dramatic way his dead body was left, but he has moved. Actors are playing him and another dead body, so I ask them to remember how the body looked and position themselves so I can take a photo. [sketch] In another part, I am painting my tennis shoes with black ink so they will look like black tennis shoes - Kyle is watching me [sketch] - I find out from my mechanic that one tire has a hole punched in it & we have to go buy another one - This has something to do with the dead bodies - I think that it's impossible because I just replaced all four tires Dreamsketch * Dated September 30, 2006 - first Dreamsketch Sketch of me photographing the actor positioned as one of the dead people. Dreamsketch * Dated September 30, 2006 - second Dreamsketch {k-Kyle } Sketch of me painting my tennis shoe, and Kyle watching me. Nightmare * Dated May 21, 2007 Theme: harm to others Gist: "my parents fall off the cruise ship" Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Nightmare * Dated May 21, 2007 {nightmare} {m} {r-donH} {characters - my parents} {daytime notes} awful nightmares where my parents fall off the cruise ship - Lots of other awful stuff happens - vague now. Nightmare * Dated October 19, 2007 Theme: threat, harm Gist: "I'm a police woman" trying to control a dangerous man . . . "I try to call the station but my phone doesn't work. My partner says he will call, but never does. I fall asleep and he gets out. I barely escape. Resolution: partial - "I run to a building behind the hotel" and finally find someone who will let me use their phone to call 911. Daytime continuity: In a daytime notation October 19 I wrote, " the only thing I can compare it to is Bush." Related notations: daytime notes about nightmare. Other notes: police Other notes: phone problem Nightmare * Dated October 19, 2007 {nightmare} {characters - police woman [me], my partner [policeman], dangerous killer, someone [people I wait for to help], man with the phone [someone among the people in building behind the hotel who lets me use the phone], 911 operator} A nightmare - I'm a police woman - My partner and I chase down a dangerous killer and trap him in a hotel room - we put him in a bag, like a body bag - I try to use my cell phone to call the station to have him picked up - My cell does not work - I go back to the hotel room & tell my partner - He says he will call - He goes back to call but never comes back - At first I keep the guy under control - I say "feet inside the bag hands inside the bag - lie still, etc - But I fall asleep waiting for Someone to get back - the guy gets out of the bag and I barely escape - I run to a building behind the hotel and ask to use the phone - At first they won't let me, but I find someone who will - I call 911 and try to explain what's going on and where I am - First, before I dial I ask for the man with the phone - "Do you believe reality exists?" He says no - I say, "Do you believe good exists?" He says maybe - then the 911 operator answers. Notation * Dated October 19, 2007 * It was a nightmare - very frightening - Waking up, the only thing I can compare it to is Bush - Why won't somebody come and arrest him? Stop him from his murderous rampage? Nightmare * Dated October 22, 2007 - first dream 5:32 Am Theme: anxiety Gist: I'm supposed to go to the airport but get incredibly lost. Resolution: yes - resolved in a subsequent dream, see October 22, 2007, third dream, below. "When the time comes to go to the airport, we just pick up and go. Everything happens very easily and I get there on time -" Daytime continuity: Wrote in one daytime notation: "the dream reminds me of yesterday" when I was on the Delta Queen Steamboat. Related notations: daytime notes about nightmare in three notations Related notations: subsequent dream, October 22, 2007 - third dream, resolution Related notations: subsequent dream that resolves the nightmare; descriptions of five dreamsketches, all dated October 22, 2023; subsequent notation dated October undated 2007 (see below) Other notes: further resolution in subsequent dream, October 22, 2007 Other notes: nightmare discussed in three subsequent daytime notations Other notes: travel / airport Other notes: lost Nightmare * Dated October 22, 2007 - first dream 5:32 Am {nightmare} {k-JohnLewis} {characters - they [implied, unknown people who will pick me up to go to the airport], John Lewis, a man [painting a mural], title people [give me a ride], a woman [my car door hits her face], her friend, parakeets, young teens and adults [at hippy commune], a young hippy woman, someone [the woman's friend], someone [I encounter while lost]} {daytime notes} Another nightmare - Late for airplane pick-up - I'm supposed to be picked up for the plane this morning - If John Lewis was not meeting me, the pick up would be at 8 am - In the dream I wake up early and decide to take a walk - I go past the Disney Cottages - A man is painting a mural on them - He asks if I want to move back there. I say no & keep walking - I get to a business park-like place & see some title people I know - I'm running late, so I ask for a ride back - They agree to take me - Accidentally, I open the door on a woman's face and she gets a little cut - she gets mad at herself for being clumsy - Her friend says not to pick on herself - I say "We all do it-" We drive into a shopping center & they point me in the right direction - There is a pet store with cute baby parakeets, but I don't have time to stop, so I head up the path - I come into a hippy commune where young teens are playing around - I meet some adults and ask for directions - They point down the hill & we talk some more - I run down the path, encounter a big lake, and finally meet a young hippy woman who loans me her car - a blanket in a plastic bag - I use it to drive for a while - I see her again and she tells me it was lucky we met because someone paid her back and the check is enough to go back to nursing school - I continue on - to find Hyperion and Griffith Park Blvd - They tell me to go this way, but nothing looks familiar. I keep coming to the end of the way - I find a steep hill and no way to get down, but I pull a leaver and some metal attic stairs pull down. I race down the stairs and end up on someone's front porch - By this time I am very lost and worried. I tell the person I'm lost and need to find Griffith Park Blvd - & Hyperion. I can barely get the words out. The person just wants to know "What were you doing in my house?" I can barely speak & I'm worried to death - (I wake up) Earlier in the dream I see clocks at various points - It's 6:30, 8:30 2:40, then 8:30 again - They are coming for me at 8 AM or 9 AM. Keep thinking I have to make it, that they will be worried about me, that I am lost, nothing looks familiar. That people will help me but I continue to be lost - how did I get so lost? In the very beginning, I had a tofu sandwich & sat down and ate it - I guess finding food was the purpose of my walk in the beginning - Dream * Dated October 22, 2007 - third dream {characters - all the people I met [in previous dream]} Dream Redux / I wait patiently for my plane - All the same people I met in the nightmare, I met this time, but in a more calm environment - When the time comes to go to the airport, we just pick up and go. Everything happens very easily and I get there on time - Notation * Dated October 22, 2007 * The dream reminds me of yesterday, talking to people on the boat, passing out those buttons - Like all the people I met when I was lost - Some tried to help me, some were bystanders, some didn't want to help - "How did you get in my house?" Dreamsketch * Dated October 22, 2007 - first Dreamsketch {k-Kyle } * Sketch of the October 22 nightmare, labeled "Stages of the Nightmare." The first part is seeing a man paint a mural on the Disney Cottage where Kyle and I lived, then I go to the title agency, then I see the baby parakeets at the pet store in the mall. The last part is where I find the mysterious stairs and end up on someone's porch. Dreamsketch * Dated October 22, 2007 - second Dreamsketch * Another sketch of the parts of the nightmare, but this time the nightmare is reimagined. The steps are at the top and the people in the dream are nicer and more accommodating to help me get to the airport. Dreamsketch * Dated October 22, 2007 - third Dreamsketch * Another sketch of the nightmare, but much different, mostly walking around the area around the Disney Cottages where I got lost before, but appreciating the beautiful houses and trees. Dreamsketch * Dated October 22, 2007 - fourth Dreamsketch * Another sketch of the nightmare, this time showing the clocks that kept telling a different time, then using the blanket as a vehicle to drive, then getting lost, more clocks, then finding the mysterious stairs. Dreamsketch * Dated October 22, 2007 - fifth Dreamsketch * Another sketch of the nightmare. This time I'm sitting on the woman's porch reading a magazine or a book. She's coming out of her front door. Notation * Dated October 22, 2007 - continued * Some more insights about the nightmare - First I walk up Griffith Park Blvd-, past the Disney Cottages. A man is drawing a mural on the cottage - [this paragraph is written in the left margin with an arrow indicating it goes here] Forgot the part about getting a tofu sandwich at the mall. I go to American Title & they offer me a ride back. I accidentally open the car door on that woman's face. A man drives the car - They drop me off at a shopping center - I'm in too much of a hurry to stop and see the birds. I go up the hill & walk on the road I come to the hippy commune where some of the teenaged boys are fighting. I meet the woman that helps me out - I get her paid back & she tells me to use my magic to get me home. She tells me to go into the jungle - their compound used to be a famous estate in Malibu (?) Canyon - I come to a beautiful pool with lotus flowers - We talk again where the ☆ is - She directs me to Hyperion and Griffith Park - The roads are confusing and I get lost again. The time is getting late - I might miss my ride to the airport. The hippy woman comes back and loans me her car, which is like a bag of rice - I ride on it, but it stops and the blanket inside comes out. She appears again and tells me I'm very close to Hyperion and Griffith Park Blvd. She tells me to go in this direction, so I do, but it's a dead end. I feel extremely anxious that I am late - Then I see some attic stairs that will release and allow me to continue toward Hyperion and Griffith Park - I go down the steps and find myself in someone's patio - The man says, "Who are you and what were you doing in my house?" I say, "I'm terribly lost. I climbed down those stairs and ended up here." I wake up. Analysis of the Dream I lived near Hyperion & Griffith Park in the Disney Cottages & at the glass box apartments overlooking Hyperion for five years (2000-2005) - The man painting a mural - my animus (?) making me live there (?) helping (?) directing (?) I go to American Title & try to get a ride back - Real Estate Biz - Climb up the hill - should have stopped to see the pet store? Go to the hippie commune - the woman there symbol for me (?) my protector spirit (?) She sends me into the Garden of Eden & I continue on the journey She helps me in several ways - directions, encouragement, loans me her "car," helps w/ directions again - The patio - my father's house. I meet my father - Maybe an animus figure - He seemed mad because I got into his house somehow - I felt a little regret that I couldn't stop & see the cute birds in the pet store - I usually do - But I was in such a hurry. The overriding emotions of the dream were being late and feeling lost - When I worked on the dream later, I asked for a ride, and got it - Then I set it up that my guardian Spirit George Harrison picked me up & took me home. then finally, I stayed around the DQ instead of going off to find some food. Didn't realize until now that the final scene was to end up on my dad's balcony & to have a chance to see him but that's what this trip was really about - Notation * Dated October undated 2007 * [on back of next page] Reminds me of the Warner Museum grounds Nightmare * Dated October 22, 2007 - second dream 3 AM Theme: harm to others Gist: I see a little boy in a wheelchair who is quadriplegic Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Nightmare * Dated October 22, 2007 - second dream 3 AM {nightmare} {not a nightmare} {characters - a little boy} {daytime notes} In a previous dream, 3 AM last night, I dreamed that I met a little boy who was quadriplegic & in a wheelchair - It was weird but not a nightmare - Nightmare * Dated November 28, 2007 Theme: threat Gist: "A man has a gun and makes us get down on the floor." I get the gun out of his hand and slide it across the floor. "I say, 'grab the gun!' but nobody will take it. The gunman gets away. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: people don't help Nightmare * Dated November 28, 2007 {nightmare} {characters - a man [the attacker], us [the other people in the hallway], someone [the person I give the gun to]} {daytime notes} A nightmare - I'm at someplace in a hallway - A man has a gun and makes us get down on the floor - I tell him - why don't you take us out there - to the lobby - He moves, I get the gun out of his hand and slide it across the floor - I say, "grab the gun!" but nobody will take it - I get it & give it to someone & the gunman gets away - It was so dumb that nobody would get the gun once I got it away from him - Nightmare * Dated January 30, 2008 Theme: attack, harm to others Gist: "A crazy man electrocutes a man and lays his body on the curb -" I try to call 911, but the operator argues with me. The man gets away. Resolution: no - "abuser gets away w/ murder" Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: phone problem Other notes: police Nightmare * Dated January 30, 2008 {nightmare} {characters - a crazy man, a man [he kills], we [the people who witness], woman solicitor, 911 operator, policeman, we [people in a car with me], a man [in the car]} {daytime notes} In one part, a crazy man electrocutes a man and lays his body on the curb - we witness this & I decide to call 911. At first I get a woman solicitor - Finally, she says, "Oh, if you want to report a call you have to dial "1" first. So I call 1-911 and explain what we saw - Instead of sending a policeman to check it out, the operator argues with me. By this time we are in a car. I hand the phone to a man, so he can explain, but he acts like nothing happened - ---> (A nightmare - abuser gets away w/ murder) Nightmare * Dated December 7, 2008 Theme: worried Gist: I'm traveling and it's the day I am supposed to fly home, but it becomes overly complicated and I'm worried. Resolution: yes - I tell Bill and Melissa, "If this works out, then that proves anything is possible-" Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: travel / airport Nightmare * Dated December 7, 2008 {b} {k-Melissa} {nightmare} {characters - brother, Melissa, other people from our group, bus driver and other people on the bus [implied, not mentioned]} {daytime notes} A nightmare - I am at an SATW convention in some European country - It's the day I am supposed to leave - Instead of packing and looking for a shuttle to the airport, I hop on a tour bus to go sightseeing - My brother and Melissa are on the bus - We're going along, looking at beautiful houses, then I panic - I might miss my plane - A few other people from our group also need to get off and go back, so the bus stops and lets us off - I ask a few people if they want to split a cab, but we are in line for some boats that will take us back to the hotel - they are like large blow-up boats - Other details - I cannot remember when my plane leaves - Before I get off the bus, I tell Bill and Melissa, "If this works out, then that proves anything is possible-" The bus has couches at the front - As we are getting on the bus, my brother and I are talking about the crash and how bad we get beaten up - Nightmare * Dated October 20, 2009 Theme: surreal; anxiety; threat Gist: "I go to a place in Downtown L.A. On the way out, I get lost - The car is not where I left it - Resolution: yes - Kyle calls and I felt better talking to him Daytime continuity: at the time I wrote: "I think the dream was about my ex-fincée. He was someone I didn't know very well. He was weird - We were terribly lost - He tried to scare me." Other notes: more details about the nightmare in subsequent daytime notation Other notes: lost Nightmare * Dated October 20, 2009 {K-Kyle} {nightmare} {characters - a man [I walk with while lost], Kyle} I go to a place in Downtown L.A. On the way out, I get lost - The car is not where I left it - I end up walking with a man who is kind of weird. He tries to come onto me - We get really lost and then my phone rings. It's Kyle - He is concerned - Notation * Dated October 20, 2009 [abridged] * . . . This morning as I was waking up, I had four dreams. Before opening my eyes, I reviewed them all carefully so I could write them down, but then I could only remember the first one. It was somewhat of a nightmare - being lost with a man I didn't know very well - someone I just met - and he kept trying to scare me - In one part he pulled out a razor knife and acted like he would carve his initials in a door - So he just wanted me to be scared more than I already was - Luckily Kyle called on my cell and I told him that I was lost, and where I was, and that I was with someone I didn't know very well - He gave me courage - In some ways, he saved me - I felt better talking to him - I think the dream was about my ex-fincé. He was someone I didn't know very well. He was weird - We were terribly lost - He tried to scare me. . . . Nightmare * Dated December 28, 2009 Theme: harm Gist: I get mad at my brother for taking my tenants. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown, maybe something with my family Nightmare * Dated December 28, 2009 {f} {m} {r-DonH} {B} {k-Blake} {nightmare} {characters - mother, stepfather, father [his house], Bill's boss, Blake Byrne} {daytime notes} Nightmare / My parents are renting my house - My brother leases a really fancy house up the street for them and they love it - look forward to moving - I get mad because now I don't have renters all of a sudden. It's my dad's house and I want to keep it, but with no renters, how can I? I cry - hide and cry, cry in front of my computer - I'm supposed to send a pdf to somebody, I do it - Bill's boss walks by, I check out the new house - Cry some more - Then I grab Bill and he takes me out in his car to talk about it - I ask him what are you thinking? Why did you do this? He says it is a business decision - He says I can find renters - I say no - it's too hard to find good renters - Then I remember that Blake Byrne owns Dad's house - I remember that it was too expensive to keep - Nightmare * Dated January 31, 2010 Theme: surreal; harm to others Gist: I dream Kyle died (or will die) and is a ghost Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Nightmare * Dated January 31, 2010 {k-Kyle} {nightmare} {characters - Kyle, the people [in the bank], a determined ghost [Kyle]} {daytime note} (nightmare) I'm in a bank waiting for Kyle - He owes money but has not paid in a while. There are all sorts of omens that it is the day he is destined to die - either by being shot accidentally or in a car accident. I am in the bank telling the people he will be there. He will not die - I tell them, either he will die today, or he will get the will to live and he will get another chance - Just then he walks through the door - like a determined ghost - and signs all the paperwork promising to pay. Then we walk out - he starts walking fast through the parking lot - then as if a string is tied between us, I sit down in protest and he stops. He comes back to me and I wake up - Scary Nightmare * Dated February 8, 2010 Theme: surreal Gist: I cannot stop the radio from playing. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown, but my parents were critical of me for breaking up with Tim, and maybe I wanted them to stop nagging me about it. Other notes: environmental influence - my radio was playing during the nightmare. Nightmare * Dated February 8, 2010 {audio influence} {M} {nightmare} {characters - Stephanie Miller [on the radio], my parents' (or somebody's) [house where the dream takes place], someone else there [in the house]} {daytime notes} I had lots of dreams I can't remember, but I woke up at 7 am and turned on the radio. It's Monday morning and I wanted to listen to the Stephanie Miller Show - In my dream I was at my parents' (or somebody's) house listening to the radio. Then my mom came in and I wanted to turn it off, but no matter what I did, the radio would not shut off - I even unplugged it, and there was more than one. I pushed buttons, turned dials, pulled plugs, etc., but it wouldn't shut off - Also, I lost my voice. I was frantic, trying to communicate with my mom and someone else there to turn off the radio. I was very upset - Also, since I couldn't talk, I was worried how to do my class later this week - So finally I woke up and realized it was a dream and turned off the radio. It was 8 Am. Now it's 9:30 - What a nightmare - It's still vivid. I also feel tightness in my chest - very upset from the frustration - Nightmare * Dated February 28, 2010 Theme: surreal, anxiety Gist: Nothing works. I'm to go to a hot tub in the woods, but everything goes wrong. I come back later and it's "all different." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Nightmare * Dated February 28, 2010 {nightmare} {characters - a long line [people at the hot springs], Tamara} I go to a secluded spot in the woods where there's a hot tub - Like a hot spring - Later, I go back there, but it's one of those nightmare where nothing works - I don't have a bathing suit so I run around naked. I need to use the restroom but suddenly there's a long line. When I finally get to the hot tub it's all different - It's been changed to a plastic tub - I sit in it for a little while then I have to go - - - Right before leaving I find out the land is about to be converted into a parking lot. It's upsetting - I tell Tamara (from LWC) that I'm sorry & give her a hug. I will miss the place - [9-18-2022 additional possible daytime continuity - at that time Tamara was elected to become president of the Women's Club, but she got mad at everyone, resigned, and stopped attending. I went from vice-president to president. I was president for two years and loved it] Nightmare * Dated April 7, 2010 Theme: kidnap, attack, harm Gist: I go to a family reunion where we have a block of hotel rooms. "I think someone has broken into my room and is holding me down on the bed." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: lucid no resolution - I realize I must be dreaming and try to wake myself up. Nightmare * Dated April 7, 2010 {nightmare} {characters - someone [imagined broke into my room and holds me down], no one [who is there]} I'm at a family reunion, or something, and we have a block of hotel rooms - In one part, I think someone has broken into my room and is holding me down on the bed. I try to scream help and wake myself up - I can barely scream - a nightmare. I wake up and no one is here - In another part I check in, but the hotel room is really shabby - I get a chance to switch rooms - to a different building with better rooms - Nightmare * Dated October 10, 2010 Theme: threat to me and others Gist: There are people who want to take away people's freedom, but I stand up to them. Resolution: yes - "I drive them back by reminding people of their power and their rights." Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Nightmare * Dated October 10, 2010 {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - a woman [autocrat], an evil force [also called alien forces - a group of people], innocent people [the bystanders], Martin Luther, corrupt church leaders, people [I remind of their power and rights]} {daytime note} I use my strong words to fight a woman who wants to take away people's freedom - I stand up to an evil force - I chase them with words like reciting the Bill of Rights to them - It's a string of words in capital letters and I win - I chase them away from hurting innocent people - Then I find a room to hide in to avoid their wrath - It's like the Battle Hymn of the Republic or Martin Luther attacking the corrupt church leaders. But these people are the dark forces who threaten to take away freedom and stop progress - It's like the invasion of alien forces - But I drive them back by reminding people of their power and their rights - The dream is like a nightmare - Nightmare * Dated February 16, 2011 Theme: kidnapped, harmed, me and others Gist: cruel men steal a hippy bus, then detain us on the bus and humiliate us. Resolution: partial - at least they let us leave the bus Daytime continuity: unknown, but wrote ideas about it in my journal at the time Related notations: daytime thoughts about the nightmare. Other notes: police Nightmare * Dated February 16, 2011 {nightmare} {characters - some people [at the house], guys [on the hippy bus], other guys [kidnappers, thieves], us [the people they kidnap], one of them [abuser], a neighbor]} A nightmare - First I'm at this house with some people and we are doing things, just like a normal dream - It's getting late and we are trying to finish things . . . Then a school bus - a big hippy bus pulls up - Some guys are on it, but some other guys come along and kick those guys off and kidnap us - They make us stay in the bus and they humiliate us, ask us if we want to kill them - They want to get the box of money they think is hidden on the bus - One of them tried to come on to me - Finally they let us off the bus and leave - We all go back in the house. Then we see the bus come back - We run out in the yard and yell "Help Help" a neighbor calls 911. I keep screaming in the yard. I cringe and wait for the police - Notation * Dated February 16, 2011 * Last night on the way home from Tai Chi I was driving through an intersection and the cameras went off - I think they were talking someone else's photo, though - I was in the middle of a herd of cars going through on a green light. I wasn't speeding. I think the cameras were catching someone else who turned right on the red without stopping - [sketch of the intersection, labeled "camera" "me" / "guy who ran red"] But the nightmare reminds me of that. Also, there is terrible stuff happening in Wisconsin. The new governor is trying to cut public employees - It's happening in Ohio, Florida, New Jersey and Wisconsin. I'm worried about our country. I really wish I could sleep more. That nightmare was scary - Nightmare * Dated March 26, 2011 - first dream Theme: threat, anxiety Gist: I'm traveling and have a breakdown because I think the hotel or someone stole my suitcase. Resolution: yes - lucid intention to resolve in subsequent dream, March 26, 2011 - second dream Daytime continuity: may be about something that happened to me while traveling Related notations: subsequent dream March 26, 2011 - second dream, resolution Other notes: lucid resolution - go back to sleep with the intention to make up a better ending Other notes: further resolution in subsequent dream, March 26, 2011 - second dream Nightmare * Dated March 26, 2011 - first dream {nightmare} {characters - we [people I'm traveling with], them [the people at the other hotel], the man [at the other hotel], only person [woman with the key]} A nightmare - I'm traveling by car - someplace like Prescott, or something like that. We leave the hotel and travel further north - Then we end up spending a lot of time - We don't make it back to the hotel, but check into another hotel for the night. But my suitcase is back at the first hotel - I worry that they will lose my suitcase. So I call them and they act like they cannot find it. The man says they have a lost and found, but the only person with a key is not there - She won't come in until 3 pm the next day. I become hysterical, thinking that the hotel will steal my suitcase - Dream * Dated March 26, 2011 - second dream {rewrite dream} {characters - ask for [implied I ask someone], they [the people who return my suitcase]} {daytime note} (I woke up & went back to sleep - knowing that since it was a dream, I could change the outcome) - I drive to the hotel & ask for my suitcase. I walk by an ornate bowl & trash can in the lobby & throw something away - I say to myself, "When I get my suitcase back, I will walk by this bowl and tell myself, "I knew I would get it-" So some time goes by & they return my suitcase. I walk by the bowl and say, "I knew I would get it back." I look in the bowl - there's a beautiful beaded headdress. Since it was left in the (ashtray) I take it and put it on - (a good ending to a bad dream-) Nightmare * Dated May 2, 2011 Theme: anxiety Gist: I fall behind in a class, decide to drop the class. Two professors from MCC are in the dream. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown, but I noted in my journal, "Wonder why I had Prof. Wheeler and John Beshk in my dream - I ought to go speak to that department head -" I'm not sure what this refers to, probably something going on at work. Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare. Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Nightmare * Dated May 2, 2011 {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - they [a company I try to hire], the teacher, John Beshk, Prof. Wheeler, hardly anyone [in the class]} I'm in a class & fall behind - At first I try to hire a company to turn in my assignments, but they don't get it in on time - They turn in a one page thing and want to change a lot - Then they are planning to turn in a longer assignment and change a lot - I get on the phone and tell them not to bother because I'm dropping the class - I go to the class to ask the teacher to drop me - I'm late because I'm talking to John Beshk - But the teacher is Prof. Wheeler and he agrees to drop me - Hardly anyone turned in the homework - Notation * Dated May 2, 2011 - 8:20 Am [abridged] * . . . The dream this morning was almost like a nightmare - Then I fell back asleep and had another other dreams that were easier, but I forgot them. Wonder why I had Prof. Wheeler and John Beshk in my dream - I ought to go speak to that department head - . . . Nightmare * Dated July 4, 2011 Theme: surreal, anxiety Gist: I stop at a market to get some food, but can't find any. I need to catch a plane, but can't get my phone to work to call the airline, then I realize I probably missed the flight. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown, probably related to travel Other notes: phone problem Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Other notes: travel / airport Nightmare * Dated July 4, 2011 {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - a man [offers to help]} {daytime notes} I am traveling. When I get to where I'm going - I want to stop at Trader Joe's to buy some food and call the airport to check in and see when my flight leaves - But the phone is difficult to use, I keep dialing the number wrong - Also, hard to find decent food - I waste a lot of time looking for something to buy - A man offers to help me dial. However, I look at my watch and it's like 6:30 pm, and I may have missed my plane - Lots of other parts to my dream - A frustrating upsetting dream, almost like a nightmare. Nightmare * Dated July 6, 2011 Theme: threat, attack, harm, to me and others Gist: Hare Krishna men break in while I'm gone and break art pieces. Resolution: partial - a Hare Krishna friend I knew tries to comfort me Daytime continuity: unknown Nightmare * Dated July 6, 2011 {nightmare} {k-Koumadaki} {iskcon people} {characters - someone [I'm house sitting for], Hare Krishna men, their man [their leader?], Koumadaki} Another nightmare - I'm looking after an apartment for someone - These Hare Krishna men are in town and they may have somehow broken in, because I go up there one day and my metal Calder (like) mobile is torn to bits and destroyed - a few other things are wrecked too. I tell their man to tell them that they hurt me in a way that really hurt, more than anything they could have done - I am really devastated - Koumadaki is there (again) and tries to comfort me - Nightmare * Dated November 14, 2011 - second dream Theme: threat, attack, harm, to me and others Gist: I go back to a school where I was abused and try to get the authorities to investigate. Resolution: no - but in a daytime notation it says a teacher offered to give us a ride home Daytime continuity: unknown, but the dream record cites "the cult documentaries" I watched. Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare Other notes: daytime notation contains a different version of the dream Nightmare * Dated November 14, 2011 - second dream {nightmare} {characters - the authorities, the school official looking for me, I am pursued [implies a pursuer]} {daytime notes} A weird dream - The one before it was a nightmare: I am at a school where I was abused - I turn my records over to the authorities to investigate then the School official looking for me dies - I run - But then I am pursued and don't have a ride home - (I think this maybe a result of the cult documentaries on my Tivo while I was gone-) Notation * Dated November 14, 2011 * Well, I've been back from New Zealand for a day (yesterday) and got in a bad mood yesterday - I want to run away from my "real" life - Maybe that accounts for the nightmares - I slept 12 hours Saturday night and 8-1/2 last night - Here's the nightmare as I jotted it down at 4 Am: Being chased at school. I hide my record - give it to investigators, then can't get a ride home. A teacher agrees to give us a ride. Nightmare * Dated December 21, 2011 Theme: anxiety Gist: I travel to see Dave, but I get lost and end up at a house full of college aged kids who won't let me use their phone to call him." Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown, may relate to a daytime experience traveling to Canada to see Dave Other notes: phone problem Other notes: lucid no resolution - I ask myself if it's a dream. I think "Maybe this is a dream - no couldn't be-" Other notes: lost Nightmare * Dated December 21, 2011 {h} {nightmare} {characters - Dave, college aged kids, pet ferret} {daytime note} I go to Toronto to see Dave - First I go to where I'm staying, then I try to take a train to see Dave - I get off at the wrong place then can't find him - I end up at a house full of college aged kids and they won't let me use their phone to call him - I take their pet ferret, use their bathroom - The toilet doesn't have a bowl so I think "Maybe this is a dream - no couldn't be-" Then the toilet unfolds into a regular toilet - I walk up the street toward the train stop, but then go back to return the ferret, but can't find the house - It's getting dark - I'm lost, Dave must be wondering if I arrived - I wish I had just waited at the hotel for him to call - a nightmare - Nightmare * Dated January 14, 2013 - first dream Theme: harm to others Gist: I see a dead cat and think it's our cat, and break down in hysterical tears. Resolution: no - but after waking I tried to convince myself it was not our cat that died Daytime continuity: unknown, but I think our next door neighbor's orange tabby disappeared (and probably died) around this time Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Nightmare * Dated January 14, 2013 - first dream {nightmare} {m} {r-DonH} {characters - orange cat, Rocky, my parents} {daytime notes} Very weird & nightmare-like dreams. First, I am walking over a bridge and see a garage to the side with an orange cat hung dead inside the garage. I think it's Rocky, my parents' cat, and break down in hysterical tears. I actually fall to the ground Screaming and crying. (woke up, try to reframe the dream image. First I realize it is not Rocky.) Nightmare * Dated October 23, 2013 Theme: surreal; threat Gist: I'm in a friendly setting . . . But then a "dangerous or crazy" girl comes and "We have to move out" to get away from her. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Related notations: dreamsketch Nightmare * Dated October 23, 2013 {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - a woman [dangerous, crazy], neighbors, we [people who must move]} Trying to get away from a woman - Moving into a safer place - She's dangerous or crazy - Almost like a nightmare Neighbors loan each other things - people borrow each other's vacuum cleaners, window cleaners, etc - We have to move out to get away from the Scary girl - Dreamsketch * Dated October 23, 2013 * Sketch of the scary girl with a door in the background. Nightmare * Dated November 4, 2013 - first dream Theme: anxiety, me and others Gist: I get lost trying to find "the family property." On the way home we park to do an errand and everyone gets lost. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: lost Nightmare * Dated November 4, 2013 - first dream {nightmare} {characters - family property [implies family], my passenger, everyone [who gets lost]} Nightmare: I am trying to find the family property, but there's something wrong. I must hop the fence and run all the way down the hill. I am trying to drive home, but my passenger wants to stop at the pet store. I find a parking spot and we cross the road to the shop - Everyone gets lost - Nightmare * Dated November 4, 2013 - second dream Theme: surreal; threat, attack, harm, to me and others Gist: "Some kids come to visit" one of them bites "a big chunk out of another Kid's head. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Related notations: dreamsketch Nightmare * Dated November 4, 2013 - second dream {nightmare} {characters - some kids, one of them [the aggressor], another kid [the victim], cat [child could be a cat], the mother, doctor [implied; mother won't consult]} {daytime note} Nightmare: Some kids come to visit - One of them enters and bites a big chunk out of another Kid's head (or cat's head) - I can see the Skull has a hole and I can see the brains. No blood - The mother wants to leave it that way - I say we have to go to a doctor - Very creepy - Dreamsketch * Dated November 4, 2013 * Sketch of a kid who bit a hole in someone's head, and the victim's head. Nightmare * Dated September 2, 2014 - first dream Theme: anxiety Gist: I'm out with some relatives, but when it's time to go, I can't find my rental car. Resolution: yes - resolved in subsequent dream, September 3, 2014. Daytime continuity: unknown Related notations: subseqquent dream, September 3, 2014, resolution Related notations: dreamsketches - 2 for this dream; 1 for the September 3 dream. Other notes: phone problem Other notes: further resolution in subsequent dream, September 3, 2014 Other notes: lost Nightmare * Dated September 2, 2014 - first dream {b} {k-Kathryn} {nightmare} {characters - my relatives, a friend, we [people who help me find car], my brother, friend [go to a friend's house], Ralph and Ann Heins, we [the friend and I who find the car, Kathryn]} nightmare - I'm traveling somewhere with my relatives - I go out to see a friend - It gets later and later and I want to go home. Finally, we go out looking for my rental car - We walk all over and can't find it. Finally we find where I parked, but it's been towed away - I keep trying to call my brother but either the phone won't work, I can't dial, or he doesn't answer - other details - in my friends' house, Ralph & Ann Heins are there - I start crying because I want to go home and Ralph sees me cry. Later, after we find where the car should be, I drop my friend off and use her car to look around. I end up parked on a dead end in front of a Lake. Also, my phone is broken so I keep using my friend's phone Kathryn (?) - Dreamsketch * Dated September 2, 2014 - first Dreamsketch * Sketch of me driving my friend's car to look for my car. It's on a city street with three buildings in the background. Dreamsketch * Dated September 2, 2014 - second Dreamsketch * Sketch of me driving my friend's car around and ending up at a dead end in front of a lake. Dream * Dated September 3, 2014 - second dream {characters - my friend [helped find car]} (I was sick all day and slept a lot - While sleeping it off, I made up a new ending for the nightmare.) I'm at that spot, having driven my friend's car to a dead end in front of a lake. I look over a hillside by the car and see my friend - She says she has found my car (I see it) and throw her the keys - She tells me to wait and drives my car up - We switch cars and go - Dreamsketch * Dated September 3, 2014 - second Dreamsketch * Sketch of me at the top of a hillside, throwing my keys to my friend below who has found my car. Nightmare * Dated July 4, 2015 Theme: anxiety; kidnap, threat, attack, harm of others Gist: Dave disappears after going off with some ISKCON children Resolution: no Daytime continuity: unknown Other notes: phone problem Other notes: police Nightmare * Dated July 4, 2015 {h} {nightmare} {iskcon people} {characters - we [me, Dave, and?], Dave, some ISKCON kids, one of the kids, the police} {daytime notes} We're in a big city like Los Angeles - We send Dave off with some ISKCON kids to get a few things, then we all have to go Somewhere - It takes a long time - We're waiting, waiting - So I call Dave's phone - One of the kids answers and says he stole it from Dave - I say where's Dave, and where are you (kid) because we will pick you up - Very troubling - I want to call the police to see if they found Dave. Very upsetting dream - (went to sleep at 8 p.m. again, now 2 am) More dreams, can't remember, got up at 5:20) [nightmare] Nightmare * Dated July 5, 2015 Theme: anxiety; threat, harm Gist: I'm traveling and realize I already used my plane ticket. Resolution: partial - I find a hat that gets me on the plane. However, other things happen where I get lost and encounter more obstacles. Daytime continuity: in a notation I wrote about what the dream might mean, I wrote, "I think the dreams could mean. Essentially, I let other people control me like I'm still in a cult. I need to stay centered and let other people do their thing without getting pulled in" Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare from two different notebooks Other notes: phone problem Other notes: lucid no resolution - I realize I must be dreaming Other notes: travel / airport Other notes: lost Other notes: additional possible daytime continuity - nightmare relates to something from the trip to Iceland, Sweden, and Canada. Based on the long retelling of the dream from the "travel journal" mentioned in the July undated 2015 - notation included below] Nightmare * Dated July 5, 2015 {k-Gelberg} {nightmare} {characters - some kids, an agent, Steve Gelberg, another agent, we [people I get lost with], a woman [wants to help me], someone [another person tries to help me], they [implies flight attendants who might not let me on]} {daytime comments} (another nightmare) I'm in Iceland, trying to line up some kids for an interview - I can't get their names and info. by phone, so I fly back to the US - then I can't get them there either, because the people have gone home - then I realize I don't have a ticket to go back - I go to a window where I plead my case to an agent - for some reason, Steve Gelberg is there with her. She gives me a black t-shirt with a gold star that will get me on the plane. But I lose it. The agent goes on a break. So I must find it. Another agent, a man, taunts me and plays keep-away. Finally I find a hat that gets me on the plane - but I forget where I need to go - Also, I have a burning need to go pee - We have to go down an elevator and through a confusing maze. A woman finds me and wants to help - I want to type it into my iPad to remember where I'm going, but I can't type - Someone tries to help me but just makes things worse. I feel psychotic, afraid I'll miss the plane. She projects the iPad screen on a TV but the keyboard is all wrong - I break down crying and am afraid they won't let me on the plane because I look so nuts - At one point, I say, "I must be dreaming, this is so awful-" (I'm glad it was a dream. I am sweating and upset - As soon as I wake up, I realize it's Iceland. Wow every time I sleep I have a nightmare-) Notation * Dated July undated 2015 * Note: I just wrote these dreams into the travel journal and wrote a lot about what I think the dreams could mean. Essentially, I let other people control me like I'm still in a cult. I need to stay centered and let other people do their thing without getting pulled in - Notation * Dated July 5, 2015 {k-Gelberg} * I've been back for five days - My sleep patterns have been messed up - I've been falling asleep early and Sleeping a lot - Each time I sleep, I have a nightmare or anxiety dream - I've gone back to my regular journal, but now I realize I should have written the dreams here, instead, and filled up this journal instead. So I'll copy the dreams here and try to process them in terms of the experiences on the trip - First, the dream I just had, after sleeping 10:30 PM - 5 am - Dream - July 5, 2015 I'm in Iceland and my boss wants me to line up interviews with ISKCON kids for someone - I do it by telephone, but can't get the kids' names right - so I fly to the US and go to the table to copy the names, because the person I talked to is gone - there's someone there who can't really help me. Then I realize I don' t have a ticket to fly back - I get in line at a special window - the agent is very understanding. Steve Gelberg is behind the counter too - She gives me a black T-shirt with a gold star that I can use to get on the plane, but I lose it - the agent goes on a break, so I have to talk to a different agent - He is mean and won't give me back the t-shirt - Eventually I find a hat that gets me on the plane - But then I forget where I'm going - An agent tells me the next plane is to Myanmar- Also, I feel a violent need to pee - So they direct me to two doors - One is for men and one for women - I guess it's the employee bathrooms - A man says they do it in order - so his turn is next, and he takes the lady's room - If the men's opens up, I'm to take it - But it's an elevator that takes me down a level and I get lost looking for the bathroom - I want to look at my website to remember where I'm going, but can't type the URL correctly - A woman tries to help, but just makes things worse - Other people try to help, but I start to lose it - they project the iPad on a big TV screen, but the keyboard is all weird like the bubbles on a Google watch - I start to cry and break down and worry they won't let me on the plane, even if I can remember where I'm going - When I was in line for the first agent, I say, "I must be dreaming - It feels like a dream." Nightmare * Dated July 9, 2015 Theme: kidnap, me and others Gist: A strange man pursues us and wants to kidnap us. Resolution: yes - "We finally get him to leave us alone -" Daytime continuity: Unknown Nightmare * Dated July 9, 2015 {nightmare} {characters - another person [I walk with], a strange man, other people [who believe us]} {daytime notes} Walking around the streets of some big city with another person - A strange man pursues us and wants to kidnap us - I act crazy to try to throw him off - I keep telling him to go away, leave us alone - At one point I find a big poster of one of my paintings - I walk around, saying - "I painted this!" We finally get him to leave us alone - We see him again, but we're safe - talking to other people who believe us - (another nightmare) Later dream - in a house. Nightmare * Dated November 12, 2015 Theme: surreal; threat, attack, harm, to me and others Gist: I confront an alien from a spaceship and use my art to defend myself. Resolution: partial - "I hold the drawing up and then pull it over me and lie on the ground - holding the painting over me like a shield. The spaceman walks away." Resolution: I try to find a higher meaning from the nightmare Resolution: The most important thing, I am the one who confronts the spaceman, and everyone wants to know how I did it. Daytime continuity: I used my art to prevent the spaceman from hurting me Related notations: dreamsketch for November 12, 2015 nightmare Related notations: subsequent dream, March 25, 2016, Related notations: dreamsketch, March 25, 2016 dream Related notations: dreamsketch of plane trajectory [see if there are other dreamsketches of this] Other note: first of many nightmares about Trump and his zombies Nightmare * Dated November 12, 2015 {still recall} {nightmare} {characters - some people [I'm with at a conference], Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, we [people I sit with in a booth], a spaceman, everyone [all the people see me stand up to the spaceman], the people who work there [including the restaurant workers], a man glowing with light and dressed like a cowboy [the spaceman in a new disguise]} {daytime notes} A nightmare At first, a pretty normal dream - I'm with some people at a conference - we go out for breakfast at a coffee house - fast food place. I find something sweet, like a pastry I like - then we go back to the hotel, but it's like a supermarket - I run into Donald Trump and talk to him - Hillary Clinton is there too. First we hear a voice that tells us Donald Trump's weaknesses - When I talk to him, though, I start off friendly, like, hey Donald, I hear you're really rich - He reacts friendly - we're sitting in a booth talking in the market when a jet liner goes over us - flying very low, and sideways, we look up at it - very scary - then it lands nearby - dropping straight down like a drone - then a spaceman gets out and comes toward us - I draw a line on a large piece of cardboard [sketch] The line symbolizes the airplane, the trajectory it should have taken - the spaceman sees me and comes over to attack me, but I hold the drawing up and then pull it over me and lie on the ground - holding the painting over me like a shield. The spaceman walks away - When I come out - Everyone is stunned - Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, my friends from the conference, and the people who work there - One of the top people - maybe Bill Clinton - looks at me and wants to ask me what just happened - I look at him wondering if he saw or heard about what happened - Just then, a man glowing with light and dressed like a cowboy walks up beside me - I ask if he's from Kentucky - He says Tennessee. I think he's the spaceman, just in a new outfit. I wonder if he wants to be friendly, or if he's malevolent - (I wake up - a nightmare - it's like it was real. It's still dark out and I'm worried - Maybe parts of it were real - It all seemed so vivid - Especially the feeling that I confronted the Spaceman and prevented him from violently attacking me with my artwork. Also, that Trump and the Clintons were aware of me. It was like the election, but with the element of aliens and potential space invasion thrown in - Like - you run your planet better or we'll take it over and run it ourselves - woke up feeling dizzy-) Dreamsketch * Dated November 12, 2015 * Sketch of me standing next to the art piece I made. Dream * Dated March 25, 2016 {characters - Donald Trump} {daytime notes} * Reworked the nightmare from a few months ago about Donald Trump - One phrase came out of it: "Punishment will either turn you toward humanity or against it-" Or it could have been, "Getting admonished will either turn you toward humanity or against it-" In the dream it made sense. Dreamsketch * Dated March 25, 2016 * Sketch of Donald Trump in felt tip pen, with orange hair and pink face. Sixties Nightmares 12 nightmares 2016 - 2021 Nightmare * Dated November 8, 2016 Theme: kidnapped, held captive Gist: a man kidnaps me and won't let me go. I escape and try to call 911, some women give me a ride a few blocks away. Resolution: partial - I escape, but I'm still worried, can't call for a ride or call 911. Daytime continuity: from daytime notation November 8, 2016: "Also it's weird how I haven't remembered a dream in more than a week, then I remember one on the morning of the election and it's like a nightmare - So why no dream for so long, then on the worst day I get a nightmare?" Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare Other notes: police Other notes: phone problem Nightmare * Dated November 8, 2016 {nightmare} {characters - a friend [the kidnapper], his creep friend, the police, some women [give me a ride]} I'm hanging out someplace and a friend picks me up he won't let me leave - We go to a creepy house and his creep friend - I ask him to take me home but he won't - I realize I've been kidnapped - I try to call 911 and look around for an address so I can tell the police where I am - While the two of them are talking, I slip out and walk down the street - I hide and look for addresses - while on hold for 911 - Some women come along and offer me a ride - They take me a few blocks away - I want to call Lyft or Uber, but then I don't have my cell phone - or purse - I'm very worried (wake up) - Notation * Dated November 8, 2016 * Today is election day, so that probably accounts for the creepy dream about getting kidnapped - I went back to bed for an hour and tried to think about the dream ending - I find my purse, leave, and call Lyft. I almost fell asleep, but then got up about 6:30 and went for a walk. Now it's just after 8:30 am and I'm at the chat room - with friends who won't kidnap me - [smile face] ☆ ☆ ☆ Well now it's just past 1:30 Am. The election went to Trump about an hour ago, that was very strange. All day I kept busy - did a few errands, then worked on the steamboat site while listening to my computer read student papers - - - Everything seemed fine - Then I went to Qi Gong - When I got to the clubhouse at 6:30, Trump was already winning - This went on for hours and I couldn't stand it - I went to Changing Hands bookstore just to get outside - Then it was about 9 PM and they were closing. So I went home - needed to be around people, so I went to the Democratic precinct - There were people there watching TV and some food, etc. Then I ran into Dr. K and Sandra - So we sat together in front of the TV freaking out - Then a man came by and shut off the TV and said he had to lock up - He said he didn't mean to turn the TV off - All he did was shut a laptop, but the TV was coming through the laptop - He didn't know - Other people I talked to - the man at the shoe store - he wanted Sanders but was for Hillary - I also talked to Chris and Joey - two of the young people who work at the desk there - I feel especially bad for the young people - Chris said it bothered him how much hate people have. I also texted with my brother around elven or twelve - I thought about how dishonest it was for the FBI director and Rudi Giuliani to drop that bombshell last Friday (the 28th) - Then I thought, maybe it would just be going too far to elect a woman [underlined] - and that maybe the Bernie people were right - People wanted something new [underlined] not the status quo - At least with Bernie, he could have given us that flair - that we are something new - It was the wrong time to go back to the Clintons - This is terrifying. I tried to like Hillary - I believe it could have just as easily gone to her - Another thing I thought is that I would like to run away somewhere. Move to California or anywhere on the West Coast. Or I thought, maybe I'll die - Maybe I have a serious disease But then I think - it's a big hassle to move or die - There's people in my life who need me - It would just make it worse for them if I disappeared - Another thought - there must be a way to get through this without having to move or die - At least not yet - I would like to get out of here - maybe in about a year - And it's not in my control when I die - Maybe we'll all die in a big bad nuclear war - So the apocalyptic people have won - The KKK has won - The mean man with mush for a brain has won - The evil woman has been taught a lesson - women can't play on a man's field - We'll just have to pack up our nasty woman t-shirts and go sit in the corner - Now it's about 2 am. Maybe I'll die of insomnia - That dream this morning was so creepy. Sort of sums up how I feel now - I tried and tried to get an Uber or Lyft to come, but I couldn't do it - Also it's weird how I haven't remembered a dream in more than a week, then I remember one on the morning of the election and it's like a nightmare - So why no dream for so long, then on the worst day I get a nightmare? In my dream records, 1986 --> 250 dreams January - Dec - 1996 --> 250 dreams January --> Aug. 2006 --> 250 dreams January --> April 2007 2016 --> 180 dreams so far this year. I think it's a healthy sign that I dream less now - probably means I'm more sane - however, to complete this study I need more dreams - and wasn't getting any [underlined] - until today. Oh boy another dream! I now need 250 - 180 = 70 Seventy more dreams! This could take a while - So eighteen dreams a month. I need seventy - so four months - that's up to April like 2006 - Maybe fewer dreams remembered is normal. Like, the stuff doesn't bother me enough to remember it. 70 [divided by] 8 = 3.888888889 Or maybe I have a sleep deficit. Maybe I need more sleep. One of the worst aspects of this is having to be around my mother - I can't stand it that she's for Trump and I have to pretend I'm okay with all that. I dunno - For one thing if I die, she won't have the house anymore - I would hate to see her thrown out on the street - so I do have to still take care of her, even though she represents everything I hate? I don't want to see her - Ever again - I've given her a lot more than she's give me - She's never "been there" for me as a loving presence. It's always been tinged with competition and not understanding who I am. She and my dad were both narcissistic and self-involved - Neither of them took very good care of me, and didn't know what to do for me - So here I am sixty years old, dedicating part of my life to taking care of my mother - providing a house for her, taking care of the house, watching movies with her - Anyways, my counselor said if that's how I feel, then I should just do it out of duty and try to set healthy boundaries. So now it's about 2:30 maybe I'll try to sleep again - [rest of the notation is five things for my to do list, later checked off with delete marks] Keywords God Goddess Check how my classes are listed Creation story delete notation re Kyle end of March Keyword Egret Nightmare * Dated March 13, 2017 Theme: threat to me; I attack others, harm others Gist: I'm in a political office, "a weird man climbs up the side of the building and pops his head in," then "I grab a big heavy chair and smash him with it - he falls back to the ground." Resolution: no Daytime Continuity: may be about the political situation Other notes: I harm others Nightmare * Dated March 13, 2017 {divide dreams} {m} {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - a weird man [the aggressor/victim]} {daytime notes} Up in an office, like a political office - a weird man climbs up the side of the building and pops his head in - The window - I grab a big heavy chair and smash him with it - he falls back to the ground - It was pretty awful, like a nightmare - I was surprised I would do that but it was scary and I reacted - Lots more dreams after that, which included my mother - Nightmare * Dated January 10, 2018 Theme: threat, attack, harm others Gist: "We have a post-apocalyptic group of terrorists who go around assassinating people in their homes. Resolution: partial "since I had the upper hand, it wasn't a really scary nightmare" Daytime continuity: gun violence Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Nightmare * Dated January 10, 2018 {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - terrorists, people [who get assassinated], we're [people I'm with], Alecia and other people from The Lakes, people [who have to hide their Christmas presents, etc.], lookouts, mob} {daytime notes} We have a post-apocalyptic group of terrorists who go around assassinating people in their homes if they can see them through the windows. They strike the house where we're staying - people from The Lakes are there - Alecia and others - After that we have to make sure to crouch down to prevent another attack - One of the killers follows me and I jump a wall and get up on top of a building they try to follow me but have trouble jumping the wall. I defeat them. Also the murderous gangs dislike large Christmas decorations and large presents for children - To be safe, people must get rid of the big presents and hide them - We have to assign people as lookouts for the mobs. It's unclear if the mobs work for the government or if they are anti-government - Sort of like a nightmare, but since I had the upper hand, it wasn't a really scary nightmare - Nightmare * Dated May 11, 2019 Theme: anxiety; threat, harm, of me and others Gist: A dream about all the criminals in the Trump administration. Resolution: no Daytime Continuity: politics Nightmare * Dated May 11, 2019 {nightmare} {like a nightmare} {characters - criminals [in the Trump Administration] A long dream about why the criminals in the Trump Admin - need to go to jail - In one part of the dream a list of points expands - Each point gets a vivid explanation - It's so extreme - this long experience has been like a nightmare - I remember he has high approval ratings, but he must be brought to justice despite his popularity. Nightmare * Dated February 18, 2021 - First dream 1:35 Theme: anxiety; threat, attack Gist: There's so much anger in the world, friends turn against one another. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: "It's about survival in a hostile failed state - Maybe about what's going on in Texas with the snow and power failures." Other notes: first of four zombie dreams related to Trump politics Nightmare * Dated February 18, 2021 - First dream 1:35 {nightmare} {characters - people [who fight with each other], people [who beat me up], the core group [the normal people who are afraid to walk the streets], Maria [and other people I know who are conspiracy theorists]} {daytime notes} This was a real nightmare about the anger in the world now - People who know each other, who are still somewhat friends, turn on each other and beat each other up - We can't avoid it - Anytime people are on the move, it turns into a fight - People follow each other and attack each other - I'm part of it too. Nobody can walk the streets anymore because they get chased down and beaten - I try to be more peaceful, but people come after me to beat me up - I keep on managing to escape. Soon everyone is attacking each other, suspicious - I try to get back to the core group, the people who stay inside and don't venture out. In the end I'm stuck outside, but I run back to the core and the people inside are pulling up the bridges - I manage to hold on, and pull myself up, and over the bridge as they pull it in - I have to struggle with all my strength to get back on what's like a big land ship - I pull and pull on the ropes they throw over, and pull myself on. Everyone outside is trying to stop us from leaving, to trick us into trusting them, and to get into a fight. It's about survival in a hostile failed state - Maybe about what's going on in Texas with the snow and power failures - Maria and a few others I know who are conspiracy theorists were in the dream. I think I would be safe around them but they've all gone completely insane. Nightmare * Dated February 18, 2021 - second dream 4:12 Theme: threaten, attack, harm Gist: zombies get in my windows. Resolution: yes - "Instead of anger, I decided to send love through my hands onto their faces as I pushed them away. Daytime continuity: one in a series of zombie dreams related to the MAGA brainwashing. Other notes: second of four zombie dreams related to Trump politics Nightmare * Dated February 18, 2021 - second dream 4:12 {nightmare} {characters - zombies} {daytime notes} I just woke up from another nightmare - this time it was here at the condos - I was inside my condo and the zombies came to my windows - I managed to close one window, but they came pouring into my other window - they swarmed all around me and I could barely scream. But I managed to say "help help help." I thought it would help me if I could make some noise, so I kept saying help help over and over. I noticed drywall was missing from some of my walls. The zombies came very close to me. Instead of anger, I decided to send love through my hands onto their faces as I pushed them away. They started to say "what's this what's this" then they disappeared and I woke up. (I'm afraid to go to sleep now) Nightmare * Dated February 18, 2021 - third dream 7:02 Theme: threat, harm, me and others Gist: Some men push their way in, claiming they're there to inspect the house. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: in the evening before these three nightmares, a friend called me and said things that made it sound like he had turned the corner to QAnon beliefs. Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare Other notes: third of four zombie dreams related to Trump politics Other notes: three zombie nightmares in one night, with another similar nightmares February 28, 2021. Nightmare * Dated February 18, 2021 - third dream 7:02 {nightmare} {characters - people [who are at the house with me], a group of men [invade my house], he [one of the invaders], one of the men [who distracts us]} {daytime notes} Anther dream like the first two but less scary. I'm at a home someplace, a house, with people - A group of men come to the door. They're dressed with yellow safety vests and wearing hats - they say they're from some agency, but won't explain what it is - they say they need to inspect the house and go off snooping around - One says he needs to go in the bedroom and I try to say no, but he won't listen. I try to ask them where they're from but they ignore me and keep looking through things. They have weird Midwestern accents, they sound phony, like they're pretending to be normal people. It's so invasive. The people are so pushy and we try to get them to answer our questions, but they won't - It all happens so suddenly - I think about going to look for them and see what they're doing but one of the men keeps us occupied while the others spread out through the house - (this is very creepy, why did I have three dreams about this? I'm glad it's seven am because I can just get up and don't have to go back to sleep. I'm also glad I have an appointment with my counselor today.) Notation * Dated unknown 2021 * [at some point I typed up these three dreams, then printed them out, added the date and time by hand, and taped them to the page] Nightmare * Dated February 28, 2021 - first dream 12 midnight Theme: threat, attack, harm Gist: a girl, and a man, invade my apartment and won't leave. Resolution: no - "I wake up, shaken" Daytime continuity: one in a series of four zombie dreams. "It reminds me of that other dream about the zombies - In the dream I kept yelling help help, like the other nightmare." Related notations: daytime thoughts about nightmare Other notes: police Other notes: phone problem Other notes: fourth of four zombie dreams related to Trump politics Nightmare * Dated February 28, 2021 - first dream 12 midnight {m} {nightmare} {characters - a girl [a zombie]; my mother, the police, a man [another zombie], these people [zombies outside]} {daytime notes} Creepy nightmare - A girl gets into my apartment and changes the phone to a phone I can't work. I tell her to leave, but she won't leave - I try to call 911 but can't work the phone - She acts like she should be allowed to stay - My mother comes over and asks who this is - I tell her it's this girl I can't get to leave - She hoists her off and throws her out the front door But soon she's back - My mom leaves - I try to call the police again but can't call - I get her out - I want to take a shower - I go to the back and get ready to take a shower, but feel like there's someone out there. A man is in my house - I try to get him to leave but he won't leave - Then I look outside and these people are all over the place - they're in line outside - they're creepy and I don't understand what's going on - I wake up, shaken - It reminds me of that other dream about the zombies - In the dream I kept yelling help help, like the other nightmare Notation * Dated February 28, 2021 [abridged] * Here it is after midnight and I just had a weird nightmare. It was a lot like the one ten days ago with the zombies and I'm afraid to go back to sleep - I went outside to look around and it's peaceful as can be - There's a little breeze and the bell was ringing. A little ripple on the water, but otherwise peaceful - All night I was worried about my teeth and mouth. My doctor says it's getting better, but it seems so awful . . . Another thing could be from prying into the dreams and memories - Maybe it's bringing out old ghosts and old images of myself. Old parts of my life I wanted left closed off and dead - In the nightmare tonight, the homeless girl trying to stay at my house reminds me of myself in a way, but a lazy, mean, stubborn me - She brought all a bunch of junk in - I kept trying to put her and her junk out - Maybe there's more to my memories I haven't dealt with . . . Nightmare * Dated May 13, 2021 - 6:02 Theme: threat, attack, me and others, I attack others Gist: I visit a friend and a man breaks into her condo. I attack him and pull the necklace off his neck. Later I attack him again. Resolution: yes - I fight back. I resolved this nightmare in a workshop with Profs. Blagrove & Lockheart Daytime continuity: "It reminds me of the Republican party - they've gone insane-" Other notes: police Other notes: I harm others Nightmare * Dated May 13, 2021 - 6:02 {nightmare} {characters - friend, this mean man, the police, a lot of people [out on the streets], some people [walk up], his friends [the mean man's friends]} {daytime notes} I'm at a friend's condo and we're planning to visit and maybe go out to eat, or something like that. Then this mean man breaks into the apartment and threatens us - I start to push him around and attack him, and I call the police and say there's a man in our place who wants to kill us - I pull a necklace off his neck and it has a little pendant from a church - I also find a note attached that says "I had a good time" He leaves but threatens to come back - I'm very worried - We go out for dinner - there are a lot of people out on the streets - Some people walk up and there's that man again. I start kicking him and he grabs my foot. I want to go talk to his friends and find out his name so I can call the police again - they're walking away. I get my foot back and I want to run after his friends but I wake up - A nightmare - At least I kept standing up to him - (It reminds me of the Republican party - they've gone insane-) Nightmare * Dated September 27, 2021 - 3:54 Theme: threat, harm of others Gist: people hassle my friend for 23 cents, I run around looking for my change and finally produce a quarter to cover his debt. Resolution: no Daytime continuity: "this reminds me of how bad the politics are" Other notes: disavowed as a nightmare Nightmare * Dated September 27, 2021 - 3:54 {f} {nightmare} {not a nightmare} {characters - my friend, they/the cashiers, my father [his ceramic pot], crowded [people in the store], new management [at the store], one of the managers I know} {daytime notes} I'm at a place, a big store - I see my friend in line and they're giving him a big hassle about his bill he owes twenty-three cents and they won't let him leave - He asks me if I can loan him twenty-three cents and I say yes - I have the ceramic pot that was my father's when I keep my coins - So I run around to look for it - the store is very crowded and it's changed - I let them use my ceramic pot, but new management has stolen all the coins - probably about $20 and now use it as a potty or other garbage - I say that's not fair - Then I remember I have some coins in my wallet - So I run back to the cash register and pull a quarter out of my wallet - I'm mad the cashiers are so petty and the store defiled my ceramic pot - my friend is gone and I see one of the managers I know - He tells me to calm down, and feels sorry for what I went through. I give him the quarter and start to complain about how bad things are being managed - He calms me down as we walk along - (this reminds me of how bad the politics are) - There was an earlier part that led up to the scene in the market - something about cats caterwauling, something like that - I could remember it when I woke up but now I can't remember it - Not a nightmare, just a lot of anxiety disappointment and running around. Nightmare * Dated November 25, 2021 - 5:58 Theme: harm of others Gist: I'm at a conference and can't find my brother "Then a man tells me he died - I can't believe it -" Resolution: no - "A very creepy dream - a nightmare - I still feel creepy about it -" Daytime continuity: "I don't want Bill to go to Colombia next year -" Nightmare * Dated November 25, 2021 - 5:58 {m} {b} {nightmare} {characters - my brother, conference [people at the conference], a man [a man at the conference], younger version of Bill [my brother], my mother} {daytime notes} A creepy scary dream my brother died - I am at a conference and I look around for him - Then a man tells me he died - I can't believe it - I want to be in denial - I go home and nobody has heard about it - So I just pretend I didn't hear about it either - then I talk to a much younger version of Bill he tells me to go to the morgue to look 4 him because he's dead - A very creepy dream - a nightmare - I still feel creepy about it - I don't want Bill to go to Colombia next year - they said he died by suicide - My mom lost her mind and pretended she didn't know anything - Nightmare * Dated December 28, 2021 - first dream 3 Am Theme: kidnap Gist: a cruel man follows me when I visit some friends, and I warn him to leave me alone. Resolution: yes - I confront him. Daytime continuity: In the dream record, I wrote, "the dream reminds me of several things - the insurrectionists, led by the former president. But it also reminds me of how my calendar is filling up with people who want me to do stuff -" Nightmare * Dated December 28, 2021 - first dream 3 Am {m} {nightmare} {characters - a few friends, a man, a couple of the others [other hostages], a woman [offers shelter]} {daytime notes} A kidnapping nightmare - I go to stay with a few friends - there's a man who takes care of them - He gets them an apartment and I am to stay there - Along with the apartment is a room on the other side of the building where we can sit outside - I think I'll need to bring my phone if I go in there in case he locks me in there, I can call for help - I go there with my phone but he demands I give him the phone - I say no. He follows me around and threatens me - He tries to take the phone - I decide to run away and a couple of the others want to run away too - We run and run - it's like the hills where Scadlock and Longbow are - We run and run to the north and we're on a boat - We reach the front of the boat and can't run anymore - A woman offers us a room where we can rest and hide - But soon the man is there, pretending to be a good man - I confront him - tell him he is a cruel kidnapper who abused us, who is pursuing us, who is dishonest, who is abusive, and if he keeps following us, I will expose him and ruin his reputation - I'm proud of the way I confronted him because I didn't scream or act hysterical. I was calm, firm, and convincing - the other girls were grateful and everyone around me was grateful I exposed him - (the dream reminds me of several things - the insurrectionists, led by the former president. But it also reminds me of how my calendar is filling up with people who want me to do stuff - Like my mom wants me to come over this week - I need to go to Rosé's memorial., I've got stuff scheduled all next year already - While in L.A. I had each day to myself, to structure it the way I wanted - Now home again, I'm getting pushed around a lot.) All my nightmares - or most of them - are about getting kidnapped and manipulated-)    Return to main page