Eastern Mind
Modern therapists like Carl Jung, Fritz Perls, and others have successfully transplanted Buddhist ideas, like the need to get in touch with the here and now. In this excerpt, Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh explains the magic of the present moment:
We know that time is a notion and time is something that is linked to other elements that make time possible, like space, consciousness, form, feelings. That is why time is also space. Without space, time cannot be. The present moment is a moment that is made of the past and also of the future. When we say that "I dwell in the present moment," that doesn't mean I am alienated from the past or from the future. We used to say that the past is gone, is dead. But that is not true: it has become the present. That is why when we manage to touch the present, we can touch the past.
Activities
To get in contact with the present moment: meditate, do hatha-yoga or tai chi exercises, draw a mandala, take a walk in nature. Focus on what you are doing, breathe and let your mind empty out.
Charlatans
While we have benefitted from the positive contributions of Jung, Perls and others, there are also people who misinterpret Eastern philosophy to justify or cover up abuse. Since I belonged to a semi-Hindu sect for ten years, I have developed sensitivity for the abuses that may arise. For example, it's easy to misinterpret the Eastern attitudes toward material life. If greedy religious leaders need servants for their mission, they may encourage followers to renounce family. Without family, workers are easier to support. Another manipulation is to teach a false definition for the concept of surrender to a guru. Because this is an unfamiliar concept for Westerners, we are more vulnerable to egotistical gurus who abuse their power.
Whenever greedy men take religious principles and apply them in a dogmatic way, it opens the doors for abuse. It's an important task for people who were abused in an Eastern guru cult to sort out what was authentic about their experience, while throwing away the dogmatic, inaccurate concepts the cult may have taught them. Following are some ideas that the false gurus of the Hare Krishnas misinterpreted.
Love in the Krishna Book
Love was a prominent theme in Krishna's life, especially in His relationships with family, teachers and friends. In the toxic group, everyone was basically angry and isolated. Any mention of the word "love" usually drew nervous surprise and stern admonitions that we must love only Krishna and Srila Prabhupada, not necessarily one another. However, in Krishna's pastimes, the characters felt extreme emotional attachment to each other. Krishna Book describes many instances of friends and relatives coming together to share love. One of the most famous examples was the reunion at Kurukshetra before the Great War, when Vasudeva and Nanda (Krishna's real father and adoptive father) lament their separation due to Kamsa's and Duryodhana's persecutions. Vasudeva says to Nanda:
My dear friend, it is very difficult for us to live together. Although we have our family and relatives, sons and daughters, by nature's way we are generally separated from one another. The reason for this is that every living entity appears on this earth under different pressures of fruitive activities; although they assemble together, there is no certainty of their remaining together for a long time. According to one's fruitive activities, one has to act differently and thereby be separated. For example, many plants and creepers are floating on the waves of the ocean. Sometimes they come together and sometimes they separate forever: one plant goes one way and another plant goes another. Similarly, our family assembly may be very nice while we are living together, but after some time, in the course of the waves of time, we are separated (Krishna Book, p. 41).
Vasudeva expresses his grief due to separation, yet the ISKCON leaders cited the passage to encourage new recruits to cut ties with "material family" and avoid marriage. "One plant goes this way and another plant goes that way. Everything is temporary, so let your family go." Ironically, this is exactly the opposite of Vasudeva's mood of treasuring family and friends.
Things have changed for the better in many situations, but the earliest children of Krishna grew up in a completely loveless environment. One symptom (or possibly a contributing factor) to the problem was the basic dogma to denegrate women and deny natural sentiment between family and friends.
In that group the rhetoric was rich with metaphors for war. For example, they told us that we were "soldiers" in Lord Chaitanya's "army," the books are like "bombs," and so on. We lived in a constant state of crisis, going from marathon to media disaster, leaving little time for friendship or love. The children, being the weakest links, suffered the most.
The Teachings of Queen Kunti
Another area of philosophy that the leaders twisted a hundred and eighty degrees was the famous prayer of Queen Kunti at the end of the Great War. Kunti, Krishna's aunt, faced many tragic situations due to Duryodhana, her nephew. Nevertheless, throughout her life she remained close to her in-laws Dhritarastra and Gandhari, the parents of Duryodhana, and retired to the forest with them at the end. She felt a strong bond of attachment to her in-laws and she also loved her nephew Krishna, her brother's son.
Kunti's sister-in-law Gandhari blamed Krishna for the war and cursed him, but Kunti remained loyal to Krishna. When the war ended and Krishna was about to leave for his own kingdom in the north, Kunti offered her prayers of unconditional love in the humble mood of one who has endured trying circumstances. She prayed,
My Lord, Your Lordship can easily be approached, but only by those who are materially exhausted. One who is on the path of material progress, trying to improve himself with respectable parentage, great opulence, high education, and bodily beauty, cannot approach You with sincere feeling. My obeisances are unto You, who are the property of the materially impoverished (Teachings of Queen Kunti, p. 53, 61).
Kunti asks Krishna to free her from material attachment to family and worldly affairs, so she can go to the forest and dedicate her remaining years to meditation. Lord Chaitanya also prayed in the mood of the goddess's unconditional surrender: "O son of Maharaja Nanda (Krishna), I am Your eternal servitor, yet somehow or other I have fallen into the ocean of birth and death. Please pick me up from this ocean of death and place me as one of the atoms at Your lotus feet" (Siksastaka 5). Kunti pledges her unconditional devotional love (bhakti) to Krishna in this famous passage:
My dear Krishna, I wish that all those calamities would happen again and again so that we could see You again and again, for seeing You means that we will no longer see repeated births and deaths (Teachings of Queen Kunti, p. 43).
Devotees of Krishna find strength in Kunti's words of humility, surrender and tenderness toward Krishna, delivered just after the terror of the Great War. It was her way of telling Krishna that she would miss him now that their trials were over. However, the cult leaders in ISKCON deliberately twisted this story, advising devotees to go before the deity and pray for bad things to happen, so they could then surrender just like Kunti. Thus, blind followers prayed to the diety for chaos and setbacks. One result was that the people were less apt to question management failings. Telling devotees to pray for bad things to happen is senseless and ignores the intent of Kunti's words: surrender to Krishna, despite the war.
Ninth Chapter of Bhagavad-gita
The most sacred and universally recognized scripture of the Hindu religion is also the most important book of my ex-group. In the temples, members gathered every night to read Bhagavad-gita, recite the Sanskrit and hear a philosophical discourse. Some devotees enjoyed memorizing verses. Therefore it's sad that the abusive leaders used this holy book to get away with their crimes. In the ninth chapter, Krishna says, "Even if one commits the most abominable actions, if he is engaged in devotional service, he is to be considered saintly because he is properly situated. He quickly becomes righteous and attains lasting peace. O son of Kunti, declare it boldly that My devotee never perishes" (Bg. 9.30-31). Cult leaders constantly repeated the phrase "even if one commits abominable actions" to justify their abominable actions. As long as they kept their positions in the hierarchy ("if he is engaged in devotional service"), they felt self-righteous and deserving of forgiveness for their grave mistakes ("he is to be considered saintly"). They enforced this with an iron fist at times.
However, there are other Bhagavad-gita verses on this subject they ignored. In chapter two Krishna says: "But those who, out of envy, disregard these teachings and do not practice them regularly, are to be considered bereft of all knowledge, befooled and doomed to ignorance and bondage" (Bg. 2.32). Krishna can tell the difference between an envious person and a surrendered soul like Arjuna. Krishna says, "Those who are not faithful on the path of devotional service cannot attain Me, O conqueror of foes, but return to birth and death in this material world" (Bg. 9.3).
For the sincere but unsuccessful yogi, Krishna promises a long life in the heavenly planets, and then another chance on earth to pursue the spiritual path. Krishna also describes the fate of people in the three modes of nature (goodness, passion and ignorance), and makes it clear that through the law of karma (the power of cause and effect) everyone gets exactly what they deserve. "Those situated in the mode of goodness gradually go upward to the higher planets; those in the mode of passion live on the earthly planets; and those in the mode of ignorance go down to the hellish worlds" (Bg. 14.18).
It's unimportant whether one believes in heaven or hell in a literal sense, because even taken as metaphor, Krishna's words describe the difference between right and wrong. Karma is an equalizing force that starts to act whenever there is a duality. It brings the duality back to oneness, although it may take a long time. A basic tenant of Hinduism is that all souls live through multiple lifetimes to resolve our karmic yarns.
In the middle of the Bhagavad-gita conversation, Arjuna asks Krishna to prove that He is God. Krishna thus reveals his Universal Form, which is a phantasmagoria of faces, arms, weapons and powers. Arjuna sees the soldiers at Kurukshetra flying into Krishna's mouths, where they are devoured. Overcome with awe, Arjuna finally asks Krishna to resume a normal form. When the vision ends, Krishna says, "My dear Arjuna, one who is engaged in My pure devotional service, free from the contaminations of previous activities and from mental speculation, who is friendly to every living entity, certainly comes to Me" (Bg. 11.55).
Understood correctly, the Hindu scriptures preach honesty, gentleness and love. Phony gurus may easily misrepresent the teachings for their own gain. Just be aware.
Cult Survivors Handbook Table of Contents
Preface, Frontmatter This book is written for people who joined high control groups as adults, but people born or raised in such groups may also benefit from reading it. I have also included a note to non-cult family members to help them interpret their loved one's experience.
Family Therapy Dangerous cults function like dysfunctional families, so good counseling in the field of family therapy may help an ex-cult member process the experience. If the root of the problems go back to family of origin issues, family therapy can help.
Abuse Recovery Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse is common in cults. Read this chapter if you suffered abuse in a cult.
Depth Psychology Carl Jung's philosophy can help ex-cult members find meaning in their experiences.
The Twelve Steps If you practiced abuse in the cult, the Twelve Steps can offer you relief from the pain of guilt.
Mind-Body Here are some tips to get out of depression without drugs and learn the messages of your symptoms of disease.
Creative Art Therapy and Gestalt For people who were victimized in a cult, humanist psychology is the best route to recovery.
Eastern Mind Eastern philosophy has benefits; learn to keep the parts you enjoy, while you throw away the garbage the cult may have served with it.
Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids by Jan Hunt, M.Sc., Director of The Natural Child Project
Bibliography and Suggested Reading Read more books about the topics covered in Cult Survivors Handbook.
