Mind-Body Depression feels like it's just in the mind, but it's often rooted in the body. For example, if someone sits around in a boring room too long, they are likely to become depressed. Sleeping too much has a similar effect. If the person goes out for a brisk walk in nature, or goes to the gym, then has a good meal of organic vegetarian food, takes some helpful herbs and drinks fresh spring water, the depression will fade. This happens because sitting still slows down all the metabolic functions. Combine a sedentary lifestyle with poor nutrition, and you get chronic depression, even if there's nothing to be depressed "about." In our quick-fix, fast-paced society, doctors have gone overboard prescribing mood pills. It's true the pills help people feel better and in some cases a pill may be the best solution. However, for most people, depression is a warning sign to tell us that something is out of balance. It could be a negative attitude, or perhaps a challenging situation. When we finally stand up to the attitude and change it, or stand up to the situation and go through it, depression falls away. It's nature's way that we must feel the depression in order to be motivated to make necessary changes. Another possible cause of depression is that we need to grieve a loss. In this case, depression is natural and will go away on its own, without the need for pills. Drug companies and doctors may believe that brain chemicals are to blame for depression, but their medications could also mask the symptoms of serious health problems. This was my case. When I was eighteen, I learned that rather than a brain chemical imbalance, I had a problem metabolizing glucose. In my late twenties, I learned that I also had food allergies. At that time I met an acupuncturist who treated both conditions with needles, Chinese herbs and a good diet. I'm still careful with my diet so I rarely get symptoms anymore. I believe doctors should routinely screen for hypoglycemia, food allergies, and other disorders that may cause depression, before they write a prescription. PMS, pre-menstrual syndrome, and menopause may also cause mood fluctuations for women. Hormones are powerful organic drugs the body makes to help women stay in contact with their emotional life. In the few days leading up to the period, when the hormones are very active, women feel motivated to review all that has happened over the month and re-evaluate obligations, relationships, and a variety of life subjects. PMS can cause depression or anger, but moodiness helps us reexamine our boundaries and shake off unnecessary burdens. Taken in a positive sense, mood fluctuations are a blessing because they help women come into harmony with themselves. Taking anti-depressants to treat PMS mood swings actually deprives a woman of vital information that her hormones would otherwise teach her. Another disease that can cause depression is cancer. They say that "type c" people (worriers) get cancer, but it could be the other way around, that cancer causes depression and worry. Cancer comes from living in a polluted world, where our food, water, air and even sunshine may be carcinogenic. The routine treatments for cancer are often more harmful than the disease itself. Although it's essential to keep looking for a cure, I believe that as a society we need to acknowledge the dangers of carcinogens. If we speak out and ask for changes, governments will have to stop corporations from filling our environment with dangerous carcinogens. Meanwhile, centers like the Wellness Institute offer support groups for cancer victims. The medical establishment still offers the best alternative for acute conditions, but they seem to have less of an edge on chronic and degenerative diseases. But even if you opt for the traditional medical course, you will help yourself along if you acknowledge the mind-body connection at the root of the disease. When you acknowledge that psychological situations may contribute to health problems, you take responsibility (but refuse to turn it into an opportunity for negative self-blame). Naturopathic Medicine If you have health issues and want alternative treatment, go to a naturopathic doctor (N.D.). Naturopaths begin with diet, exercise and lifestyle. They may prescribe from their repertoire of homeopathic medicine, herbs, vitamins and other supplements. They may also recommend bodywork such as massage, acupuncture and spinal adjustment. The theory behind naturopathy is to enhance the immune system, so the body may heal itself. For example, colonic irrigation, the "surgery" of naturopathy, can prevent a variety of diseases because it puts the body's own purification system back on line. It's the most invasive procedure in their repertoire, recommended for the most severe cases. The process of flushing the large intestine with water comes from the Ayurveda, the ancient healing system of the Vedas. Unlike modern surgery that cuts pieces of the body and sews them back together, this surgery simply bathes away the toxins that have built up in the cells over decades. After a series of one-hour treatments, the large intestine regains its flexibility and does a better job of clearing toxins from the body. Naturopaths have used colonic irrigation to prevent colon cancer, and treat depression, food allergies, chemical exposure, addictions, indigestion and a variety of other diseases. The best thing about naturopathy is that all the treatments work together to promote general health. Also, you avoid ingesting pharmaceuticals that might have dangerous chemical interactions. Dreambody Work Dr. Arnold Mindell is a psychotherapist, analyst and teacher at the Jungian Institute in Zurich, Switzerland. He has developed theories about the phenomenon of communicating unconscious material through bodily gestures and symptoms. He uses Jungian technique to unfold and amplify the symbols the body presents, relating the symptoms to dreams, myths and fantasy. He says the body is a "dream trying to happen," or "dreambody." Mindell's books are a good resource if you have chronic pain or other health concerns, or just suspect that your body is trying to tell you something. Cognitive Help The field of cognitive psychology started in the mid-twentieth century to help people improve their lives by improving their inner landscape. Most of us simply accept our inner state, for it's all we know. But if things aren't working for us, reassessing cognitive habits is a good place to start, because these days, our thoughts take on metaphysical significance. More people than ever believe the idea that we create our own reality. It's a scary concept because if it's true, that would mean we're responsible on some level for all the negative things in the world. At any rate, we cannot deny that we've participated in the negative thoughts of the world that have wasted valuable energy. It is true, the negative thoughts we allow to set in may actually harm us. The Bhagavad-gita mentions that whatever we hold in the mind, we will eventually speak, and then act out. Common sense tells us that what we hold in our head will show in our eyes, on our face, in our posture, and eventually in our words and actions. They say that we attract what we are most afraid of because the subconscious interprets our attention as a desire for more of the same thing. I propose that creating one's own reality is actually a positive thing, because it's easy to change negative thought processes. The first method is common sense. Watch the mind as it goes through its daily thoughts. Keep an eye on it at all times. Consider keeping a journal for a few days to chronicle the journeys your mind takes. It will be easier for people who have learned to meditate. In fact, this is the whole idea behind meditation. If you work hard to calm the mind during the formal training sessions, you will feel better even during the times you're not practicing. The goal is to make friends with the mind and get it to work according to your desire. Never force your mind to meditate. The crafty mind will find a way to get back at you. Therefore, make sure you feel comfortable with the meditation you choose. If you belonged to a group that required long meditation sessions, you may be sick of meditating, or alternately too addicted to it. It's a challenge to find a balance that will work for you. Homeopathic Flower Tinctures Bach flower essences and other brands of flower tinctures affect attitudes and cognitive functions to improve attitudes and chip away at bad habits. Here are some examples from the Nelson Bach USA Ltd. brochure: "Walnut. Assists in adjustment to transition or change." "Wild Oat. Helps determine one's intended path in life." "Rescue Remedy. For people who find themselves in emergency stress situations." Flower tinctures are safe with no side effects and are available in most health food stores. Try them for a new way to clear out emotional baggage. The Power of Words Affirmations, phrases that invoke positive energy, offer another way to clean the emotional body. They give us a new way of thinking about problems. Instead of feeling helpless, declare how you want a situation to be. Write an affirmation and repeat it over and over. Some people repeat the phrases silently to themselves, while others write affirmations on paper ten or more times. The repetition helps program the positive thoughts into the subconscious mind. Like a computer, the mind will accept and manifest the information you feed it. Whatever you believe you can do, you can do. If the mind is saying "no," you simply thank it for its concerns and continue to feed it "yes." One positive thought cancels a hundred negative thoughts. The words you use in an affirmation are extremely important. Always use positive words. Never use "not." For example, if you are frightened of something and then affirm "I am not frightened," your mind will only hear the word "frightened" and you will remain stuck. But if you say, "I am brave, I am courageous, I am strong," your mind will register the new positive words. You can write your own affirmations or get a book of affirmations. Jeannie Marshall and Louise Hay have written good books on the subject. Sometimes an affirmation will come in a dream, in an email, or in a magazine. Write the affirmation down and post it somewhere you will see it. File affirmations into your things to do pile, use them as bookmarks. Make them attractive so you will keep them around. Affirmations can even serve as prayers or mantras. Self-hypnosis Tapes Listening deeply to positive thinking tapes is accelerated learning that can actually reprogram the mind. Choose tapes that address specific issues, such as self-confidence, security, happiness, etc., or choose tapes that simply repeat positive phrases or give subliminal messages over music or nature sounds. Try to listen in the same way you would meditate: set aside the time and concentrate as much as possible through the whole tape. You will have better results than if you try to listen while driving or doing chores. Another option is to seek a hypnotherapist who will make a custom hypnosis tape and work with you to absorb the positive programming. Hypnosis is extremely effective for overcoming bad habits and insecurity. Biofeedback Another helpful tool for addressing cognitive issues is biofeedback. If you go to a professional biofeedback therapist, (s)he will introduce you to a computer that registers your brain waves. You will then be able to see your thought waves on the monitor. The therapist will train you to recognize the thought processes that are causing you trouble. In the course of treatment you may learn to completely change your cognitive habits for the better. Negative Words are Unhealthy Repeatedly talking about ailments and rehashing the problems that caused them probably make ugly patterns on a biofeedback monitor. Negative words about our bodies sink into the subconscious. Repeated over and over, they become mantras to invoke ill health. This is perhaps the reason why hypochondriacs are so annoying. When they get started, stand back. It can be a barrage of negative energy. Positive thinking guru Wayne Dyer once said that he drives the flu bug away, telling it that it will never get any attention from him. Verbal abuse is another form of unhealthy communication. If you are raging at your partner or vice-versa, you are putting your relationship at risk. You also make yourself more vulnerable to a variety of stress-induced diseases. Yelling, accusing, withholding, threatening, and undermining are as bad for you as radiation. Learn the facts about verbal abuse and how to end it (see bibliography for books on the subject). Beliefs and attitudes have an even more subtle effect on us than the words we run across our minds and tongues. They are embedded so deeply in our psyche that we barely notice them. It's as if they are hardwired in our brain. These core programs are the hardest to change, but we may need to change them if they are part of our problem. Old programming, possibly from our families of origin, may tell us things like, "You'll never amount to anything," "You just can't trust other people" or "The world is no fair." People who hold negative attitudes just take them for granted, never suspecting that they could be totally wrong. This is our blind spot, giving us one more good reason to be humble. The shadow leads us into trouble because we're unaware of it's presence. The shadows hide the character flaws that prevent us from living our lives to the fullest. Religious texts and New Thought material, such as the writings of James Allen, help unravel negative beliefs and attitudes. The universal teachings allow us to improve our opinions about ourselves, the world and the other people in it. We learn to give up our grievances and live in a higher reality. Eventually the mind may turn a corner where it stops cultivating attack thoughts. When your mind focuses on positive thoughts, you will feel better all the time. [Note: New Thought and Positive Thinking books are best used on your own, without joining any "group." This is especially important for anyone trying to overcome a betrayal cult experience.] Rational Emotive Therapy One author who presents the ultimate method to conquer the mind is behaviorist Dr. Albert Ellis, who teaches us to recognize and reject irrational beliefs. He has a book called How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything -- Yes Anything! In it he explains, "If you are anxious, ashamed, depressed, or enraged about your practical problems or if you are indecisive, phobic, or compulsive about making decisions, look for your dogmatic demands -- for your shoulds, oughts, and musts and for your awfulizing, self-downing, and I-can't-stand-it-itis that accompany them." His solution is to train the mind to dispute irrational thoughts and disarm them. An example of an awfulizing, irrational thought is: "This task should be easier." Should it? Is that a rational thought? Maybe the job should be exactly as hard as it is. I may not like doing it, but not doing it would be even worse. Another example: "I should have done better on that test." Ellis would argue, Where is it written that you must do everything perfectly? It would be great to get a perfect score on every test, but you can get a few wrong answers and still be a worthy person. I met Dr. Ellis at a professional workshop and he asked me what was troubling me. I said that I used to belong to a cult and I always criticize myself for that. He said that being in a cult may have been bad, but continuing to criticize myself for it is irrational. After a big failure, instead of beating yourself up, try Rational Emotive Therapy. Give yourself a talk like this one described in Anything Yes Anything (p. 172): "Too bad! I certainly behaved poorly this time. But that hardly makes me a stupid or incompetent person. Just someone who needlessly did myself in. Now . . . I am determined to do the best I can, and to be as effective and as happy as I can be [in the next situation]." Creative Outlets Nothing tames the mind like a good hobby. In the book Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains that we enter a flow state when we are fully absorbed in activity. Total absorption leads to a sense of euphoria where you lose any sense of time and experience feelings of great satisfaction, simply doing the activity. This is a right-brain shift. When you achieve the rarified state of flow, you will know it. Suddenly you let go of the everyday stress and live in the now. The simpler the activity the better. Repetitive activity is the best. Drumming, quilting, walking in nature, reading, sketching and singing are just a few of the many activities that might draw us into the right brain. To find out what you enjoy about everyday life, ask yourself what you do that makes the hours just fly? Make a plan to practice doing something you enjoy every day. The body and mind actually crave right-brain experiences because they produce natural brain chemicals. If you pass a certain point, you become psychologically addicted. Joggers may experience anxiety on days they can't get their run. Meditators may be out of sorts until after they perform their morning rituals. Some people write a few pages everyday when they wake up and may go through withdrawals if something prevents them from writing. William Glasser calls this "Positive Addiction" in his book of the same title. Glasser makes a case in favor of positive addictions because they fill the soul with something beneficial: activities that build self-esteem. Negative addictions, like those addressed in the chapter on the twelve steps, also fill the void, but tear away at the individual's self-esteem because addictions are kept secret. Having a secret makes you feel different, as though there is something awful about you that would make people reject you. It makes you feel hypocritical, too, because you are living a lie. A negative addiction is a downward spiral, but positive addictions are uplifting. The rewards for indulging in a daily positive activity like exercise, deep breathing, meditation, artwork, music, or any number of other crafts, are many. The activity itself is satisfying. Knowing you've used your time constructively is another reward. When you feel good about your activities, you attract good people and events to you. You give up interest in less rewarding, negative habits. Daily flow activities relieve symptoms of stress and bring deeper meaning and direction to life. Cult Survivors Handbook Table of Contents Preface, Frontmatter This book is written for people who joined high control groups as adults, but people born or raised in such groups may also benefit from reading it. I have also included a note to non-cult family members to help them interpret their loved one's experience. Family Therapy Dangerous cults function like dysfunctional families, so good counseling in the field of family therapy may help an ex-cult member process the experience. If the root of the problems go back to family of origin issues, family therapy can help. Abuse Recovery Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse is common in cults. Read this chapter if you suffered abuse in a cult. Depth Psychology Carl Jung's philosophy can help ex-cult members find meaning in their experiences. The Twelve Steps If you practiced abuse in the cult, the Twelve Steps can offer you relief from the pain of guilt. Mind-Body Here are some tips to get out of depression without drugs and learn the messages of your symptoms of disease. Creative Art Therapy and Gestalt For people who were victimized in a cult, humanist psychology is the best route to recovery. Eastern Mind Eastern philosophy has benefits; learn to keep the parts you enjoy, while you throw away the garbage the cult may have served with it. Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids by Jan Hunt, M.Sc., Director of The Natural Child Project Bibliography and Suggested Reading Read more books about the topics covered in Cult Survivors Handbook. next